Virtual Tidings

You know what they say about the best laid plans? They often go awry.......or in our case, my plan assumed to much about the speed of our timeline and that our sweet little miss would be home by Christmas or at least soon afterwards (since, you know, we got our referral last February).

However, the "plan" that I am referring to above has to do with Christmas cards.

Yes.

Christmas cards.

Our annual touch base with our far-away beloved friends & family. This Christmas my plan was to delay our much anticipated (sarcasm implied) Christmas card and witty Christmas letter (written by the real writer in the family, the hubs) to our regular peeps/family. Instead of our annual expected tidings, we would send out those tidings a little later by way of Little Miss's arrival announcement and first full family picture!

Great plan, right?

Well, it sure would have been - except now it is looking like Little Miss's arrival in the states won't be until February at best.  And, believe it or not, guilt is getting the better of me. All of these beautiful Christmas greetings from friends and family coming in the mail and going seemingly unanswered.

I am here to tell you folks.

You.are.not.forgotten.

Look for it in a month or so :) But for now? This will have to do! Much love to you all ;)

Merry Christmas!

Love, 

The Calders

Great pic - right? Happy Tidings to YOU!

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In the celebrating of Christmas I would be remiss to not point to the why we celebrate. 

Take time and reflect in the wonder of it all. 

The birth of Christ. 

The birth of CHRIST. 

Not the beginning of time, but the start of the story. The enacting of the plan spoken about from the beginning. The kickoff of the redemption plan. The incarnation. The Almighty not only stepping INTO mankind, but starting at the lowest spot imaginable. Savior of the world - helpless babe. 

Let Christmas be a day, a season, where we sit and soak in how much we are truly LOVED. That redemption plan? For you. Oh, how you are Loved. Loved so much that the God of the universe, knowing we would sin and how that sin would separate us from Him, made a way. 

Take a step back and look. It is truly magnificent.

Isaiah 9:6

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given, 

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace

there will be no end.

He will reign on David's throne

and over his kingdom,

establishing and upholding it

with justice and righteousness

from that time on and forever.

The zeal of the Lord Almighty

will accomplish this.

Update (with ACTUAL news.....)

Believe it or not we finally have an update with NEWS in it! 

Late last week our agency informed us that we were not only submitted to court (which is what we were waiting on), but that our 1st court date (the one we do not travel for) has been assigned and will take place during the second full week of January. Although obviously we were hoping for a closer date, due to the upcoming holidays, the delay was inevitable ;) But having an actual date in time? Amazing. Especially after having experienced multiple unknown timeline waits like we have throughout. I'll take the 3ish weeks away, thank you (.......now that I've processed through the initial disappointment of it being that far away, come on people, I'm human!). So what *should* happen is soon after that day we will be assigned our court date, which means that we get to travel! Oh my heart. How I have been waiting for that day!

Not only that - another unexpected blessing/update happened just this morning. One of my adoptive mom friends, who is in country for court for her well-waited for little love, was kind enough to act as a pack mule and bring my girl a much needed case of formula. Which in itself is awesome. What is even MORE awesome is that my friend was allowed to see, hold and interact with little miss for awhile. Sigh. What amazing news it was to wake up to. To have someone lay eyes on my girlie. To give me little tidbits of info that I'm dying for daily - things such as how little miss can now stand all by herself when holding onto a table. (Little miss loved to stand when I visited in late August - but it was only holding onto hands, she was not steady or predictable enough to put her up to "cruise" on anything or support herself). Unbelievable. Especially thinking of her size, what that must look like her standing there alone. She is such an itty bitty girl.

Ahhhhh.....Good day!

We can not express how much it means to have people praying for little miss, for us, for this process. Please continue to do so! Please be praying for her to stay healthy, for favor throughout the rest of our process and for us to rest in God's timing! I never would have thought it was possible, but it is getting harder and harder the closer we get - I so badly want to get to this sweet little one and at 10 mo. since we accepted her referral, we are ready to stop seeing her grow up in pictures (although we are extremely grateful for weekly update pics) and ready to watch her grow day by day here in her HOME!

Update week #41

It has been 41 weeks since we first saw Little Miss's sweet face. As pregnancy typically last 40 weeks, I am officially one week overdue with this sweet child ;)

I can not adequately express the joy this week's update pics brought - not only are Little Miss's bitty baby hairs in sweet puffs for the first time (at least the first time we've seen them), she is also solidly sitting AND she has apparently been packing on the ounces.......as she is now 12lbs. 11oz. Which means she has put on over a pound in under two months. THIS IS HUGE PEOPLE!!!! It took her from June to October to put on just one pound. Wowza. So excited!

Thankfully the last 2 months have been passing quickly - between the T-shirt fundraiser, transitioning at church and Tori B-day/Christmas - if it had not been for these things on top of the regular mom & household duties? This mama might be going bananas! (there is the potential that I might have already crossed that crazy line, since I am now apparently using bananas as a descriptor)

As far as where we are in process? What is next? Well, early this week our agency received the documents they need in order to submit us to court, so all we are waiting for is word that we've been submitted! Once we are submitted an assigned court date will follow. We still don't have an idea on timeline, it *should* be somewhat soon, but *should* obviously has a very loose meaning to us, since everyone knows how our timelines have shaken out in the past ;) I do know that come early January, it is going to become harder and harder not to hop a plane and head over!

Please continue to pray for our process as we are coming up towards the finale. For Little Miss's health the final stretch of her wait, for continued peace in God's timing, for the hearts of our three kiddos staying stateside while we travel and for wisdom in our preparation.

PAIR letter......has arrived!!!!!!!

Can you hear me shouting for joy, no matter where you find yourself on the planet??????

Ahhhh.......isn't it beautiful?

Maybe only to a mother's eyes ;)

The PAIR letter arrived just this afternoon, and let it be known that my children are going to be thanking the good Lord that it was just in the mailbox, not hand delivered. MONTHS ago I told Tori (jokingly, well somewhat jokingly) when the PAIR letter arrived? It would be so exciting I would literally kiss the mailman. I had forgotten all about it, until last week when we passed our I-604 investigation, and the PAIR letter in the mail was imminent. Tori's second response (her first response was cheering wildly at the news) was to say within 5 seconds, "Oh no! That means mom is going to kiss the mailman!"

Ha!

So for all you folks not fully submerged in our adoption timeline, what does this mean?

It means that we can be submitted to court!!! (hopefully in the next week) All that will be left after that is to wait on a court date for little miss which means we would have our date to travel!

Of course, between now and then is massive thinking through every possible need and scenario that we could potentially encounter while we are in country until we can bring Little Miss home (hopeful for an only 3 week stay).......which means MASSIVE list research and writing on my part, the resident Calder planner of the Jason & Cheryl duo :)

Thankfully I have time on my hands for extreme list prep - because I just finished updating 12 documents, yes TWELVE docs, in our over 2 year old dossier - that will need to be sent along with our PAIR letter. All of these documents need notarizing, state certifying and authenticating before heading over to be submitted. Whew. Crazy - yet I love it (did I mention I love a good list? Keeps the mind occupied and purposeful!)

Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Giving Thanks

I am overwhelmed with how much I have to be thankful for this year, much of it unfolding in the last few weeks. Let me count the ways.....

• We awoke this morning to a glorious email from embassy letting us know that our case passed the I-604 investigation TODAY. Praise the Lord!!! We should receive our official PAIR letter in the mail stating this in the coming week. This is a HUGE step forward in our process, this PAIR letter enables us to be submitted to court soon!

• One of the documents had a blessing in the details that we weren't expecting. Pure love.

• The T-shirts arrived!!!!! They are super-soft and awesome. Can you tell I love them? Ha! If you ordered a T-shirt, I will be getting them to you ASAP, but unfortunately due us to going out of town for the holidays, most deliveries and mailings will take place early next week.
  
  
  

My uber cute model :)

• Updates today showed a smiley Little Miss, who has put on weight AND sitting unsupported.....might not seem like a big deal, but believe me, it is. Little things make a big difference in relieving a mama's heart.
  

  

  Lovin' the oversized socks!

  
  

• A friend, who is in country right now, had news for me today that Little Miss is beginning to crawl! Be.still.my.heart. Go baby girl, Go! 

• Blown away by the provision that God has orchestrated in ways we honestly could have never imagined in our most craziest out there dream. More details to come later.....but needless to say, Ephesians 3:20 "Now to the one who can do infinitely more than all we can ask or imagine according to the power that is working among us." has been on continual repeat in my head as I shake it in absolute awe of what God is doing.

• Then throw on top of all of that ^^^^^ the fact that I have a family that is healthy and safe, friends that are like family, have all my needs provided for....even the ones we most take for granted - running water, food choices, toilets, cars, heat, ample clothing? Oh my.

 God is good.

I'm not deserving in the least. Unmerited grace. Unmerited favor.
Oh the love He has for each one of us.
 
Throwing in a song for good measure.....Love this one!

How Can it Be?

Lauren Daigle

Ups and downs

Ever wonder what a week looks like in the adoption process? 
(or does the thought of that scare your socks off?!?!?!)

Come. Take a little ride with me through my past week. It's a doozy.
This also serves as an update.

Monday (11/3) - Down - another week starts with us still waiting for a document requested by embassy to arrive (current wait time: 4 weeks)

Tuesday (11/4) - Up - find out via email, from our agency, that the document HAS indeed been obtained. Document must be translated before it gets turned into embassy.

Tuesday (11/4) - Down - the news in the email above ^^^^^ although good, is sent wrapped in not the nicest word choices. That definitely proved to suck some of the "we finally got our document" joy out of the moment.

Wednesday (11/5) - Up - Tshirt design turned out amazing......unveiled to the public (sounds dramatic right? All tens of you - ha!). Honestly, I was excited. Worst case scenario, even if the T-shirt thing would happen to turn into a flop? I LOVED the shirt and couldn't wait to have one (and deck my fam out in one) myself!

Thursday (11/6) - Up - Update week #38 on Little Miss comes a day early. Little Miss's age is correctly reflected (for the first time since June) in her updates AND she is wearing what we sent for her birthday. Check it out below.......her birthday outfit was chosen based on what needs the foster home has (practical shirts/pants) since pretty much after a quick photo, it obviously becomes public property for all to use. Also, for size reference, this is a 0-3mo. outfit.

Friday (11/7) - Down - emailed embassy to ask if the translated document obtained by our agency early in the week had been turned in. It had not.

Sunday (11/9) - Up - Due to an awesomely shared T-shirt link on FB, found out that we have a close connection to someone who has a home in Addis, because of this we might have an opportunity that we could have never imagined.

Monday (11/10) - Down - Email from embassy stating that the document was indeed turned in by our agency, however it was the wrong document. Five weeks of waiting for nothing, it appears that we are now back at square one. (oh the ugly crying that went along with this news.......)

Tuesday (11/11) - Up - God's mercy is new every morning. Nothing has changed in our circumstance, in fact things seem utterly ridiculous in light of yesterday's news. However, because of the extreme ridiculousness my heart is encouraged. The last time things were out of whack in seemingly epic proportions? God had already given us a word months before that we needed for that exact moment, for hope to rise up.....and then God moved big time. This time? Again epic proportions of ridiculousness. No specific word, but we are watching God orchestrate some things presently that are beyond what I ever thought possible, and again, hope is rising up. Unexplainable hope. I am believing that God is going to move.

Seriously crazy, right? When thinking about the Up, down, up, down of this process I had a song in my head that wouldn't go away and I couldn't think of the source - but then I figured it out. Boundin'. Ever see that short animated Pixar cartoon? About the sheep all fluffy & fine? Then he gets shorn? And the jackalope comes bounding by? I'd attach it here - but I can't. So you'll just go look it up yourself. Anyhow. Not that it is our exact situation, but bound and rebound, because sometimes your up and the next thing your down!

Whew. So there you have it. An updated week in review. Although I am thankful that normally our weeks don't have quite so many valleys and peaks as this last week, this is how we've lived for so long......it is exhausting. Can I just send a HUGE shout out to my real life family and friends walking through all of this with us? Day in and day out as this news comes in? Up.Down.Up.Down. They are living it right along side us - although their emotions aren't quite as extreme as mine (with the ugly crying), they experience sheer frustration when we do, and show such love and loyalty. I just wish little miss knew just WHO was in her corner advocating for her. I know it myself and I know how much I need it. The advocating. Having others come along beside us and cry with us, be mad with us, want to tackle people for us (Tracey - ha!). It is so appreciated you all. So appreciated.

Thank you to all those who have ordered T-shirts so far! The sales of these fine T's are still going on if you'd like one (it's pretty obvious that they are awesome). They are $20 for super soft adult sizes and $15 for youth. I am placing the order next Monday (November 17th). If you want to get in on Team Calder support - you can email cherylrcalder@gmail.com to order OR via paypal by clicking on the donate button in the upper right hand corner of the blog. Why are we having a fundraiser now? All your questions answered and MORE (ha!), just click here.

Please continue to pray for us folks - for little miss's health & growth, for peace in the wait, for breakthrough, for movement, for favor. We believe in the power of prayer and we believe that God will move on this sweet girl's behalf!

Help needed. T-shirt anyone?

Team Calder T-shirt. Yes. It actually says Team Calder

Let me start out by saying that I literally know of no one who has started a T-shirt fundraiser this near the end of their adoption. However, there has been absolutely nothing predictable about our story so far, so why start following norms now? That would just be plain ridiculous.

I, of course, feel the need to explain why are we needing to raise some funds this late in the game. You know the phrase "long story short?" This is not it. In the words of Jason, I am most gifted in the art of making a "short story long".....I love everyone to have back-story - no matter WHAT story it is, and this is no exception. (If you are not a backstory lover, but would like to support us by buying a shirt, here's a tip - scroll to the end to find out how :)

So the long of it is - with all the delays we have experienced it has brought on unexpected extra expenses. Little Miss has been at our agency's transition home since we accepted her referral early March and since that point, we have been paying for her care. We had 7 months of care budgeted (which should have given us breathing room, cost wise).....however, we are currently on month 9 and not done yet (at now $350/mo., as the price increased last month). Due to Little Miss's size, we have also been providing her specialized formula since early June and sending it over by the case, and she goes through one can in 3 1/2 days (which equals a lot of formula purchased over the last 5 months) Add onto that a homestudy update in June and a hospital bill in October? You get a whole lot of things that were not factored into the budget. We have been praising the Lord that thus far we have had the ability to cash-flow (albeit difficult) those extra things out of our budget.

If it had only been those things? We would have been fine. Tight, but fine. However, now our delay has brought us something else that looks to be inevitable.....plane travel around the holidays, most likely in December. What does that mean? Airfare will pretty much be double the price it would have been had we traveled at almost any other time during the year, and when you double the price of already pricey airfare? Oh my. That is overwhelming. Then when you also factor in plane tickets purchased somewhat "last minute" (as there is normally less than two weeks notice to be in country after court dates are assigned)? Oy. We had budgeted for average airfare, not insane holiday airfare.

Those added travel expenses combined with the extra funds we've already cash-flowed in the last 6 months because of the delay? Has left us in the position of needing some help late in the game. Honestly, it is hard to be vulnerable and throw ourselves out there again, especially considering all the support we've already experienced.

But then it hit us. T-shirts. People love a good T-shirt. Since we have not yet done anything with supportive adoption wear (think T's not underpants - because that would just be awkward) AND with so many people following our story? Perhaps this would be a great opportunity and potentially one of those famed Win/Win situations.......people, who have been following Little Miss's adoption story, now would have a chance to step INTO the story - WIN! (and get an awesome shirt to boot!) AND Jason & I could potentially have this unexpected financial strain lifted - WIN!

So - this is your chance to jump INTO the story. Not only will a portion of the cost of the shirt help us get little miss home, but it is also a great way to visually stand with us.

The shirts were designed by Fund The Nations. This company works differently than a lot of companies. The T-shirts are pre-sold before ordering and printing (think how the whole girl scout cookie thing works). This enables us not to have any upfront costs OR left with extra shirts to sell.......there it is again - another win/win!

Awesome, right?

Since the T's are pre-sold AND our traveling is hopefully happening next month - we will only be taking orders for these shirts for a very limited time. 12 days total. Short and sweet (very unlike me or my writing) The final order will be placed on the morning of NOVEMBER 17th. Shirts will be printed in about one weeks time and to you (ready to wear) soon after!

If you dislike T-shirt apparel (although I really can't imagine anyone falling into this category - since personally I'd give just about anything for a good T-shirt, but that probably says something about me), and still want to help? We would obviously welcome that - however keep in mind that we are not a 501(c)3, so any donations would not be tax deductible.

The suggested donation is $20 for adult sizes (standard shirt sizes) and will be printed on a super soft cotton Tshirts. Suggested donation is $15 for youth sizes (Youth XS-L) and will be printed on regular cotton Tshirts. All shirts fit true to size. We will deliver if you are local - but shipping (if needed) is $3 per shirt.

So, how does one go about purchasing this amazing T? There are two options:

1. Click on the paypal "donate" button in the sidebar located at the top right of the blog:

• Enter the total donation amount (which will be based on how many shirts you want)
• Enter payment information (you can either login to paypal, or if you don't have a paypal account just click on "don't have a paypal account?" to use a credit or debit card)
• Then click on "Review donation and continue"
• The next screen has a spot to leave a message for the seller (me) before completing your transaction....please enter the size/s information and quantity you need here. 

2. OR Send an email to cherylrcalder@gmail.com (or PM Jason or me on Facebook)

• In the email include the size/s information and quantity (address if you are not local)
• I will send you our home address so payment can be sent via snail mail by check.
• OR, of course, if Jason or I see you in our daily lives, shirt payment can be in person!

Why did we choose this particular shirt? One Less? Easy. Identity. There are many numbers as to the true number of orphans in the world, some estimates come in at 147 million - but that all depends on how you define an orphan. Are the parents living, but impoverished, so the children aren't in their care? One parent alive, but can't support? Abandoned? A double orphan (meaning both parents have died). The count can vary based on what you are specifically counting. We chose One Less, because regardless of what the stats are - little miss will soon be One Less. One Less Orphan. Her identity will change. Orphan to daughter. Unattached to anyone in the world to attached. Part of our family, forever a Calder (even when she weds and changes that last name - although don't mention that to her dad :) Oh how that reminds me of my own adoption in Christ......

So, what happens if we get blown away by support and take in more than we need? Or what happens if we don't end up traveling during the holiday season? Hard to imagine, but should either one be the case.....it will go towards donations to bring when we travel AND towards things that can only be purchased in country. Plans were already in the works to fundraise for a much needed WASHING MACHINE for the orphanage which Little Miss's story began (the cool thing is we already have some of the funds raised for this specifically do to some amazing friends/family). However, there are so many needs and this is SO where our hearts are, we would not run out of amazing places to put any amount should there be an abundance!

Whether you can help support financially through this fundraiser or not, please know how thankful we are already to have the prayer support and emotional support of those following the story!

One last thing. If you do happen to become a shirt purchaser - for Team Calder - could you do us one last favor? (beyond reading my lengthy "short story long" posts, ha!) Once the shirt is delivered, it would be amazing to have you, your family, or whomever has a shirt take a picture WEARING it - to send to us, for little miss. How amazing would it be for her to someday not only hear about the support for her as we awaited her arrival, but to also see it? To always have a tangible visual of how much she is loved? Powerful.

Oh girl. You are loved.

Thanks all.

*Questions? Need more explanation than described the epic novel I just wrote? Feel free to ask/email cherylrcalder@gmail.com

Intentionally different

How excited I am that we are getting close to the bringing home of little miss! Although nothing has recently changed and we don't know quite when (come on last document!) we are close enough that I realize a little prep work needs to be done. Besides preparing my family and home for her arrival, I also need to start preparing those who we see in our day to day lives.

Some prep work needs to be done because parenting little miss IS going to look different than the first three parenting endeavors of kiddos that same age. Intentionally different.

Why?

I'm so glad you asked :)

Obviously it is no secret that Little Miss has had a different start than my other three. She will be coming to us at over a year old, and she is NOT coming to us as a blank slate like the others did. She already has life experiences, norms and expectations - a lot of which are about to be re-written. Not because she came from a bad environment, quite the opposite, little miss has had EXCELLENT care, but what she has not experienced are consistent caregivers.

You know, like parents.

The nannies at her transition home are amazing, but of course, have their own lives (as it is a job), shifts and days off. Even the best type of group care is still group care. Little miss is used to many different people meeting her needs and has no idea what a family is, how it functions, or what it means to have parents. The same consistent people who not only meet needs, but also nurture and love.

Weird to think about, right?

Attachment isn't something I ever thought of when I had my three cute kiddos. They were housed within my body and were born into a loving family. They learned to expect Jason and I to come when they were crying for whatever reason (hungry, hurt, wet, etc.).

How did they come to expect one of the two of us would show up? Every time? Well.....think about it how it works. The concept of family starts at birth builds from there. A trust cycle begins. The child has a need. You meet the need. The child has a need. You meet the need. Over and over and over again (x infinity). The process of going through this over and over with the same caregiver (the parent) builds attachment. The baby begins to learn that their relationship with the parent is different than any other in the outside world.....and it happens bit by bit. Eventually as other experiences happen, the circle grows and it extends to others: grandparents, close friends, friends, acquaintances, the whole outside world - a child who is attached knows that they have a parent (whom they now trust because of this cycle of infinitely met needs) to guide them through these other types of relationships. The family, the parents are the base.

Enlightening, right? This is what a combo of nerd and adoptive parent brings. Ridiculous amounts of book reading over the past 2+ years.....haircare, trans-racial adoption, attachment (and on and on). And now I'm passing my learning on to you - aren't you just thrilled? Ha!

Anyhow, so what the heck does this all mean for you all? Why are you involved in the prep work?

Well, for those of you that live nearby, it is to try to explain beforehand why things will look different as we are helping Little Miss learn what a family is. Even though she will be over a year old when we bring her home? We are starting from scratch. We have to teach her what a family is. As far as "family age"? She is a newborn.

So how the heck do we plan on doing that?

By limiting who meets little miss's needs when she comes home.

Little miss is going to have to learn who Jason and I are. As weird as that may sound. She has to learn that our relationship is different than the rest of the outside world. In order to do that - we have to go all the way back to the beginning, much like you would a newborn. Which means that all her needs for the first few months of being home (i.e.  holding, feeding, diapering, comforting) will be met by Jason and I alone.

Then slowly as little miss starts to learn WHO we are (and that we aren't going anywhere) we will add people into the mix, much like you would a newborn. Think about how you introduce a newborn to the world. Who is visiting the hospital? Who sees your kiddo and family during the first few days? Months? Etc. The circle gradually gets larger as the parents feel more comfortable and the child seems less "newbornish" <<< my own new word.

It will work the same for us. Grandparents and extended close family. Close friends (who are like family too). Then friends and others.

How long will this process take? Ha! Like at this point I trust any sort of Cheryl-made timeline....who knows. We will have to play off her cues as to when she is ready to move onto the next circle of people. I am assuming at this point the first two months all the care, holding of her, etc. will be by Jason and I alone. (which will be helped along by the fact that we plan to stay IN Ethiopia between court and taking her home, which will enable us to have weeks of head start before landing on US soil). Then we will extend the circle to grandparents.....etc., etc. working our way out.

Whew. 

So when we get home right away and you so badly want to hold little miss? Please know that I'm not saying no out of selfishness, as I know so many people are excited about her homecoming, but it comes from a place of trying my hardest to do what is best for her.

I know some people will think that this is a over the top, being this intentionally different, or might not understand at all. But isn't that how parenting always is? Whether it is breastfed or bottle fed, natural consequences, public school or private. Each family has their own way. Everyone has their opinions. After all the reading that I've done in the area of attachment, I really feel like this is something that is important for our family to do this way. Honestly, it makes sense and I would much rather error on the side of TOO attached (if there is such a thing) than not. 

Please try to remember this after she comes home, when we are in the phase in which you can only pat her little back or gaze into her beautiful big eyes, and you find yourself thinking "gosh, this mama is clingy" - that we are only trying to do what we think is best for our little one.

Why? Because that is what parents do - and that is the core of what she needs more than anything. A family that looks after HER best interests!

In other exciting news......little miss's crib and mattress arrived today. Yay! Bring that baby on! Please continue to pray that our one last document will be turned in SOON - we can't wait to move forward, bring this little one home and start enacting our intentionally different parenting skills ;)

*small disclaimer :) At the airport? Um, yes - grandparents and a few others will get to hold her. Circling the family wagons will commence after we arrive at our actual home. So don't freak out MOM!

Condensed grace.

Recently the question was posed on an adoption forum that I am a member of - what one word sums up your adoption journey? Wow. (No that isn't my word, just my immediate response) How in the world do you condense years worth of living, longing and yearning into one word?

After much thought, I finally picked my one word.......

Refining. 

Our adoption process has been far from easy, but we have seen God's hand throughout all of it.

Every snag? Absolutely frustrating - but through all of it - Grace has abounded.

You know what is nuts?

It hit me the other day how someone with an outside perspective on the speed of our adoption or a newbie checking out the blog (to get a look at timelines....yes that is a real reason to blog surf in the adoption world), could easily see all the snags we've hit and wonder how we could even think that God is in this. I mean, how could God really be in this, if it is so hard? If the fight is so long? If the snags that we are hitting are so ridiculously non-normal? If God was in this, wouldn't He have blessed it? (and by blessed it meaning this process would of course be swift and seamless....)

Honestly, when we started this process? I thought it would move fast. Why? Because why wouldn't it? God called us to it. Bam. That alone should have decided it, right? Why would he call us to something that would be a struggle?

I almost can't believe I'm typing this, since it isn't over yet, but I'm going to go ahead and say it. Persevering through this struggle has been a gift. Through it, I've seen how much He loves me. That He knows what He has planned for my family, and that didn't include leaving us as we started. I am praising Him that He is more than just about the end result. God has taken our hearts and is molding them (albeit painfully many many times) into what He wants us to be for HIS glory. For what HE has for us to do. He wasn't going to just going to leave us be. Adoption has been a vehicle for heart change for us on many levels and God has been refining bit by bit, day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year.

It is not always to say that the pain of the refining is something that I am smiling about from ear to ear at all times......but what it produces? Now that is something to be thankful for. But that isn't all. We have experienced such amazement along the way at the grace that God shown us. At.Every.Turn. Those snags? Always met with grace and His hand. It doesn't take away the longing (or the rough weeks like last week) but what it does give us are benchmarks to look back at. Methodically going backwards to look at those things God has done throughout the process reminds us of His goodness. It reminds us that He IS FAITHFUL. It reminds us of His provision........which points squarely forward to the finish. It may drive me crazy, this unknown ending date at this point, but God does know the end and I know Him to be faithful.

So what is condensed grace? My list. Not my full list, but my blog post-able list (as some parts of this story are reserved for little miss alone). A list of those moves of God. The grace that I have experienced. My thankful list. Those things that I look back at as I wipe my tears. Those things I recount and remember. Those things that keep hope alive. Those things that have me praising God for what He has ALREADY done and confirm that He will be faithful to complete what was started.

My condensed grace list is backwards......why? Because that is how I go through it - starting from present and going toward the beginning.

• Embassy opened our case quickly due to little miss's health concern with her weight. (They had been experiencing a backlog and people were waiting 6ish weeks to even get to the point their file was even opened)

• Despite little miss's small size and lack of reserve, she came through the illness that hospitalized her and only lost 4 oz. in the process. She is tiny, but mighty.

• Our RFE (request for evidence) from USCIS (immigration) stateside which must be answered by our agency in under 45 days.........was answered in 1 day.

• Our pediatrician writing a letter of urgency to try to help speed along little miss's case due to her noted failure to thrive. Our amazing pediatrician did so, not only quickly and on her DAY OFF, she was even willing to take it to her bank to have it notarized - who does that? (if you live in the KC area and want a ped. recommendation? I've got one!)

• PAIR documents (that we had waited for 6 months) arrived the day BEFORE I was heading to Ethiopia to visit little miss. Because my plane didn't take off until the afternoon, I was able to mail them THE DAY I LEFT!

• Getting Little Miss's regional clearance. It was an absolute miracle. Blind seeing, dead being raised kinda miracle.

• EHE (a ministry that I've come to LOVE after our visit in May) not only coming to Liberty, but coming to a church in my town that is literally a stone's throw away from mine. Getting to meet with the Shannon's for lunch at Journey Church. Being prayed over by the Shannon's for a breakthrough in our adoption - looking back later and finding out that little miss's regional clearance letter was signed the NEXT DAY.

• A word that had been given to us months before it was needed, when we found out that it looked like we wouldn't get the regional clearance without another new document first and all hope would seem lost - God brought this word to my mind and I was more hope-filled than I had been. Confirmation that He has this. Rest. (I don't go into details about the specific word in the linked blog post - as some things are to personal to post publicly - but if you'd ever like to know, I would love to share in person!)

• Having a specific date to pray for - our orphanage meeting with the regional people about the letter we needed and letting them know about little miss's health concerns.

• Wanting to head to Ethiopia again to see my little miss, having the opportunity to travel with a friend........asking the Lord for confirmation (either way) as to whether to travel or not - and then having ALL the money for my ticket provided in full.

• The network of adoptive parents that has enabled me to send cases of specialized formula over for my girl.....specifically being able to get a new formula for her to try, less than a week after discussing it with our agency.

• Being in country and seeing that Little Miss has Jason's ear, one dimpled cheek (same side as Jason & Tori) and dimpled chin. Wowza. Of course she would.

• Traveling in May to visit. Meeting little miss for the first time. Discovering that she wasn't on a higher calorie formula to try to help with her weight issues. Guess who was on that specialty formula within a week of this mama's visit?

• Getting Little Miss's referral and the when/how of that story that I will share at some point. Just not yet. But believe me it is good and the timing of when it happened could be orchestrated by God alone.

• Little Miss's name. The name we had picked out? So close to the one she originally came with - in fact, the nickname that we will use for her (that is shortened from her name) - has only ONE LETTER difference from the name we chose a year earlier.

• Having a support system (locally of two other adoptive moms w/in my own church) who were at the same point in their adoptions as my family, during our long 9 month wait for a second referral.

• Having the opportunity to experience brokenness in the "safest" way ever. Waiting for something GOOD. No one died. No tragedy occurred. Although it may seem silly to some that an extended wait or longing could fall in this category, it can. I am thankful for it, because of it I have become much more compassionate. There is no quick way to learn that lesson, but to struggle through and to come out knowing that God is faithful and good despite things working out totally different than YOU planned.

• Deciding to move forward, despite the long wait for second referral, and get the bunk beds ready in Tori's room. Then discovering we already HAD what we needed.....it had been purchased and stored a few years before. Later after getting Little Miss's referral? And looking back at blog dates? We put the bunk beds up the week little miss was born......how is that for awesome?

• The timing of starting a part-time job at my church. I was scheduled to begin the week after losing our first referral, but went to work right away. With the busy-ness of being the hub of all the working parts at the church.....it kept my mind engage, excited, active and productive at a time it would have been easy to be overcome.

• How we lost our first referral. AT court, because her mama wanted to parent. I have known multiple people to lose referrals because of death or because of a child getting stuck in the system for one reason or another, but to lose a referral because a mama changed her mind and wants to parent? The.Best.Reason.Ever. Also, being glad it happened to us and not a family with waiting for their first child or without the same perspective........

• Being FULLY FUNDED within 9 months of starting our adoption process. Generous family and friend support. Show Hope grant. Ordinary Hero. Give1Save1 blog. Being given the opportunity to watch God's provision at work. To say that it blew us away would be an understatement.

• Starting this blog - realizing that I enjoy writing (shocking revelation to this former PE teacher ;). Thankful to not only have a place to journal for little miss's benefit once she is safely home (and wants to hear some of her story from our side of the journey to her) but also as a platform to share and walk out this faith journey with others. 

Overall you know what I am most thankful for? Learning how weak I really am. Learning how to release control, timelines and my will. Opportunity to learn 1st hand what trust is - that feelings must take a back burner to the truth of who God is and His Word. Will I always walk perfectly in these things all the time? Flawlessly above it all? Heck no. Hello. Human here, but thankfully God knows that already and loves me anyhow.

Isaiah 43:1-3

But now, this is what the LORD says

he who created you, O Jacob,

he who formed you, O Isreal:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; (Cheryl, or insert your name here) you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers, 

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze

For I am the LORD, your God, 

the Holy One of Isreal, your Savior

I am HIS. It doesn't keep me from the hard times, He is with me in the hard times. Giving me what I need when I need it. Waiting for me to lean into Him.

Y'all that might not seem condensed, but that is condensed. There is even more than that to share. God's hand is all over this process. Although I would like the wrap up to be sooner rather than later, more than anything, may God be glorified IN it and THROUGH it all.

Love this song......worth the listen :)

You Carry Me

by Moriah Peters

Milestones.....

A milestone is happening this week for little miss.......she is celebrating her first birthday!

Honestly, it is hard to miss. We never would have imagined, 8 months ago when we got her referral, she would be spending her first birthday without us. We had her pictured here at home. Dying to expectations is hard. Oh dear girl, how we long for you.

However, that sadness being noted, I am incredibly thankful to have made connections with many adoptive moms within our agency. One adoptive mama friend left just yesterday to travel to visit her little one and I was able to mail a package to her. Her acting as a pack mule of sorts, will then be able to deliver it to little miss this weekend. Even though I know that at a first birthday, the child is clueless to what birthdays are - I jumped on the chance to send just a little bit of love for her birthday.....and I have to say, I was pretty darn impressed with myself that I got the below shoved into a small flat rate shipping box at the post office! (excluding the formula of course - I just sent the traveling mama a check for that!)

Outfit, socks and small bear

Formula.....I can't ever pass up the opportunity to send this. Nothing says love like nourishment!

One of the birthday traditions in our family is waking up to a birthday message written on the kids bathroom mirror - although I do this for the kiddos EVERY year, it is always s "surprise". I decided that Little Miss shouldn't miss out on her 1st birthday message.....she'll just see it at a later date (when I print this blog for her - it will be one heck of a baby book!) We also plan on enjoying a birthday cookie-cake this weekend as a family to celebrate her sweet little milestone.

Hard to see - but Happy 1st B-day!

This past week we've also started preparing for Little Miss's homecoming although we don't know exactly when it will be. I think, being parents of 3 kiddos already, we know the deal - babies don't really require that much - so we've been procrastinating on a few things. Things like carseat, crib, you know. Little things like that. Ha! I mean we've got some clothes, formula & diapers ready for the trip, the rest can be done when we get back, right? Well, we finally realized it might be a good idea to get going on some things - so this week we finally fixed a seatbelt in the back of our van that will allow us to move a kid to that spot, which opens up the prime spot for little miss's carseat (that fix alone has been put off for well over a year). A friend offered to lend us a bucket-type car seat to borrow to use for a few months and it is now in our possession (we had a convertible seat already, but at little miss's current 11lb 0oz. size, I starting thinking a bucket seat might be easier since we will be in the winter months when she arrives home) AND just today I ordered the mini-crib for our room that little miss will sleep in until she is big enough to move into the bottom bunk in Tori's room (I can only imagine how long that will take!) 

Whew. Crib? Check. Carseat? Check. Two things down.......what next? 

BRINGING HER HOME!

Thank you for your continued prayers. It means so much to have other around us. Praying for us, supporting us, loving us. We are so grateful for YOU.

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl - We LOVE YOU!

Worn and weary

Warning. This isn't a pretty post, but it is an honest one. It has been rough coming up with any kind of content lately, as nothing has changed since the last update two weeks ago, since we find ourselves at a lull. 

Waiting for one document.

Again.

Although this document shouldn't be as hard to get as the one we finally got in August - there is no timeline on it's arrival, which is hard as we've already been waiting for it for two weeks. We have seen this time and time again, between us and other families as we have been living in this adoption world for a while now. For a LONG WHILE. This "waiting for one thing". One thing that could easily arrive tomorrow or stretch on for months on end. I've seen days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months. We obviously are praying that doesn't happen with this document - but the unknown is hard. So hard.

It makes this mama feel weary and just plain worn out. Worn not just because of the process, but seeing my reaction to it after all this time. Sigh. WHY can't I just totally rest and keep going in my life all "fa la la la la" and just shelve it, when it happens it happens? One would think that we would be accustomed to this waiting unknown feeling (as it has been 20 months since we received our first referral and was therefore "actively" in process). Shouldn't I have this down by now? This waiting thing. Haven't I learned anything? Have I gained no maturity at all from this? Seriously. Makes me feel worn down with nothing to show for it. 

Just being honest here.

Sometimes it makes no sense to me. We are closer than ever before. Why am I struggling? 

Recently the only thing that has helped me begin to cope and not feel like I've lost my mind is relating it to pregnancy (any man reading this, if this makes you feel weird? My apologies). Believe me, I am thanking the LORD I don't look pregnant on the outside, but on the inside? In my mind? Emotions? Goodness night. If people around me could see that? If I could get a visual myself? Oh man. Maybe I wouldn't be so hard on myself. Maybe others could see what this process would look like if it was physical, at least people would know how overdue I really am.....and would probably need to look away quick, before the image burned into their brain :)

At this point, by the time little miss arrives home? I could have gestated an ELEPHANT. Yes. That is how insanely enlarged my emotions and brain are at this point......thankfully not the bod. Can you imagine the stretch-marks? Oy. Although thankfully this little one is only 5kg, not 115kg.

I literally feel so distracted, as of late, by this process that I am having a hard time with anything else that competes to take up space in my head - relationships, work/church, kids, house, ________ (basically fill in the blank with anything you'd like), because it feels like NOTHING ELSE MATTERS! I know that isn't the truth. Other things do matter. However, as mom who has personally experienced the very end of pregnancy with three bio babies, you would be hard pressed to convince any mom (who is past their due date) otherwise. 

It is honestly such a blessing that I have my three bio babies - it lets me know that I'm not totally crazy at this point, since I can relate what I am going through to something I've experienced with my pregnancies - but also because my kids are the only thing that is keeping me in the United States at this point. I am SO DONE with this process, that if it weren't for those three cute kiddos, I would just leave right now and live in country until I could bring little miss home. 

Take all of that crazy pregnancy, elephant gestating talk above ^^^^^^^ and combine that with the fact that little miss's birthday is this week? Mashes together to equal a mama who is worn and weary. 

Sigh. Tears aplenty......  

Until just recently, I had been holding onto hope that we could travel in November, but with no word on how this one document delay will play out? I feel like I am starting to die to that dream. It's just hard to let that go. A while ago in the adoption process I learned not to put a date out there for things, or a potential timeline as it only ever leads to disappointment - but I did anyway this time. I really thought it could happen. Even though getting my sweet girl is closer than it's ever been? Letting go of a hope or expectation is always painful. I know God has His timing. I know that there is a reason. I know He works all things for good. But knowing those things still doesn't take away the emotion of it in the moment, however what it gives is hope knowing that He will use it. Somehow. It will not be wasted. He will use even this. 

PLEASE continue to lift little miss and my family up in prayer and for this ONE document to come quickly. That our family would have favor all the way through to the end of this adoption process, that little miss would be protected from illness as she waits and for this weary and worn mama. I desperately need strength, peace and grace that only God can provide - I am a hot mess mama who just wants her kiddo home. 

Update

Early this morning we found out that Little Miss was officially discharged from the hospital.

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Not only are we rejoicing we are also letting out a big sigh of relief.

I was telling someone this week that having your little on the other side of the world, in a developing country, in the hospital, with no updates........is a special kind of torture. You want SO badly to do something. To know something. Anything. To speed things up. To be there. The ridiculousness of this long wait seems even more ridiculous. The combination of all these things? Equal a weight that doesn't leave your mind, and nothing can be done to lift it.

I found out early in the week that we wouldn't find out any details until little miss was discharged and we received her hospital bill.

I have never wanted a hospital bill so badly!

Although we haven't received it quite yet, I did find out that along with her original reason for being hospitalized, she also had pneumonia. Ugh. With IV antibiotics and oxygen. Oh kid :( mama is so sorry I couldn't be there...........continue to pray for her full recovery. Although she is out of the hospital, most likely she is still in isolation of some sort for now.  Also be praying for little miss's "friends" (specifically for my friend's little one, baby "A", who was hospitalized for the same reasons and now is in critical condition) - there are a lot of sick little ones in her room at the transition home, pray for complete healing, strength and wisdom for their caretakers.

As far as the update on the actual adoption process - our file was opened at the embassy level Tuesday of this week - yay!!!!! This is a huge step! Embassy has requested one additional document to be turned in before we can clear this part of the process. I am hopeful that this will be turned in quickly so we can clear and move onto the court stage. Please be praying for us to have favor with all those involved in getting that one document!

I haven't posted a song in a while.....I heard this one early this week in the midst of my helpless feeling and now knowing so many of my adoptive mom friends are feeling the same, it is worth the share!

He Knows

by Jeremy Camp

Birthday surprises....

So, my birthday is tomorrow.

The answer to the famous question "what do you want for your birthday?" posed from loved ones, always has the same response this year..... the PAIR letter. (Pre-Approval Immigration Review)

That is what we are currently waiting for in the adoption so we can move on to the court phase.
That is LITERALLY all I want for my birthday.

You know what arrived in my mailbox yesterday as an early present from a dear friend?...............

PEAR letters!

Oh.my.word. The timing of it's arrival was impeccable - I was struggling yesterday. With no update on how little miss is doing and the frustration that little miss is still THERE and not HERE. So opening that envelope and seeing it's contents was probably about the weirdest thing anyone could ever witness - and I am SO glad that I was alone.......who knew you could cry really hard and laugh all at the same time? Goodness night. For a person who isn't normally overly emotional? Wowza. That was a first (and hopefully a last!).

I received four PEAR letters in all - three more than requested ;) An abundance! How truly amazing it is. The support that God has provided through others! I continually give thanks for it. For you!!!!

One of my Pear letters contained this tidbit of encouragement which is worth the share.
Romans 5......We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance....strengthens our confident hope of salvation and this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love. When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners.....so now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.

Please continue to pray for little miss. Since we haven't gotten an update on her health we are assuming at this point that she is still in the hospital. Also, please be praying for one last document we found out that is needed, for it to come quickly - we would love to get the real PAIR letter soon - although having it by my birthday tomorrow is a bit of a stretch :) 

Prayers needed!

We received our weekly updates today for little miss....and found out that she is in the hospital.

Sigh.

Not the news any parent ever wants, especially when your little is on the other side of the globe. Hard, knowing that if she was here and hospitalized? Either Jason or I would be by her side 24/7.

Sickness of any kind is concerning, but for a kiddo of her size, with so little reserve? It definitely adds to the weight of the news. So many questions surface with an unexpected unknown ranging from: Will a nanny be with her the duration her stay in the hospital? or is she alone, with no one she knows and no advocate? To things like: did her specialized formula go with her? (so she doesn't have intestinal woes along with respiratory woes), or how often will be updated on her condition? etc. This mama not only wants to know all of these things, the mama in me wants to BE THERE WITH HER.

Sigh.
Again with the Sighing.

Good thing I believe God hears my sighs. My cries. I don't know how I could survive without knowing that God has got even this. This comes as no surprise to Him. I KNOW that He see's my sick little miss and my hurting mama's heart. I KNOW He hears me when I call to Him. I KNOW that He is going to use all of this for His glory. But even in knowing all of that, I am human, and how it does make my mama's heart ache. Oh just how I wish I could be there to advocate for her. To comfort her.

Please join us in coming before the throne of grace on little miss's behalf. Be in prayer for little miss. For healing. For protection. For the remainder of our process to be covered in favor and to proceed swiftly so we can get this precious little girl home soon. Pray for my mama's heart (and the daddy's too, while your at it) God loves this little one and has a plan for this little one. No doubt about it.

Psalms 71:14-16

But as for me, I will always have hope;

I will praise you more and more.

My mouth will tell of your righteousness,

of your salvation all day long,

though I know not its measure.

I will come and proclaim your mighty acts,

O Sovereign LORD;

I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.

A wee bit excited....

It's official - we've moved onto the next phase (#145, just kidding) of the process! Our agency was quick to respond to USCIS's request for evidence and our officer emailed today to tell us that she had passed our file on to Addis........

So what happens next? Our remaining process looks something like this:

1. The U.S. Embassy will review her paperwork again to see if there is anything else they need and in most cases schedule an interview with someone involved in the case - however our case is a bit different and we are hopeful that all we will need is to re-submit some documents that we ALREADY have in our paperwork. If that is the case, the interview would be unnecessary, but we'll see. This phase of the process normally takes at least a few weeks.

2. When the Embassy is done with their investigation they issue a PAIR letter (which stands for Pre-Approval Immigration Review) this means that little miss would be cleared to go TO court because she is cleared to come into our country as adoptable. The U.S. used to do this investigation and clearing after court, but now it is done before (hence Pre-Approval). It does add some time to the front end of the process, but it is SO much better than checking to see if the child can come into the country AFTER court, and they are already legally yours. This PAIR letter typically comes via U.S. mail a few days after clearing the above step.

3. The PAIR letter must be sent to D.C. and authenticated before physically heading to back to Ethiopia to join our dossier (the paperwork that we completed back in 2012) and be submitted to court.

4. The first court date is issued (and takes place) which is with the same person in step #1 above, or hopefully in our case, not needed - just paperwork resubmitted.

5. FINAL STEP - Adoptive parent court date - this is where we get to travel! Typically happens a few weeks after the first court date takes place. After this court date, little miss will be officially our daughter and we can take custody of her a day or two after that date. 

Of course timelines on each of these steps can vary depending on the case. In adoption, there is no "normal", we are living proof of that :) I've seen some people fly insanely fast through these steps and I've seen others drag for months on end. I don't have any idea how our timing will play out, but obviously I'm hopeful for sooner rather than later!

To top off the awesome news of heading on to the next step? We got our sweet updates today.

Update week #30. 

Whew. 

Thirty weeks. Seven months. Although I am grateful for these updates, I am SO ready to be done with updates! This week I put a recent picture up on a bulletin board next to one from 6 weeks after our referral - wowza. This little miss has grown and changed developmentally like you wouldn't believe. Not weight wise, mind you. (as she has only put on 3lbs since last January and only 1/2 of ONE OUNCE in the last six weeks) Sigh. Oh how this mama is ready to get little miss home! Here is a picture from today in her 0-3month romper that I brought for her when I traveled in mid-May :)

Happy girl!

Please continue to pray for the health of this precious little one and for favor as we are getting near the homestretch of our adoption process. Also be praying for me. For patience. As time is drawing nearer I am fighting being a bundle of anxiety. I want so badly for this to move along at a good pace and get back to my gal. It has caused me to pick up a burden that isn't mine to bear......and I am finding myself daily (hourly, by the minute even) fighting to stop. Look up. And give it to the Lord. Hard to admit - but hey, you all - I am human and with that? Weakness. Times like this it glaringly comes to the forefront again. I am weak, admittedly weak - but His power is made perfect in weakness.

How.I.Need.Him!

I heard this song recently at a women's event at church.....oh my. Worth the listen.

You make me Brave

Bethel

I stand before You now
The greatness of Your renown
I have heard of the majesty and wonder of You
King of Heaven in humility, I bow

As Your love
In wave after wave
Crashes over me, crashes over me
For You are for us
You are not against us
Champion of Heaven
You've made a way
For all to enter in

I have heard You call my name
I have heard the song of love that You sing
So, I will let You draw me beyond the shore
Into Your grace, Your grace

As Your love
In wave after wave
Crashes over me, crashes over me
For You are for us
You are not against us
Champion of Heaven
You've made a way
For all to enter in

You make me brave
You make me brave
You called me beyond the shore
Into the waves

You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now
The love that made a way

You make me brave
You make me brave
You called me beyond the shore
Into the waves

You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now
The promises You've made

As Your love
In wave after wave
Crashes over me, crashes over me
For You are for us
You are not against us
Champion of Heaven
You've made a way
For all to enter in

Preparation - all things hair!

Quick update……..the paperwork that we waited forever for? As you should know (if you've kept up ;), it has all been turned in to USCIS (US immigration) and is being processed.

Can we all collectively sigh in relief together? Ahhhhh.

Our paperwork was sent to Dallas and logged, it then headed to Lee's Summit, MO where it awaited an officer for review. We found out this week that we indeed have been assigned an officer (the exact one I was hoping for!). This stage is great because there is actually someone we can contact. We found out from our officer this week, that USCIS needs three more things from us, before it can send our case file on to Addis. We were relieved to find out that what is needed is just a additional local translation to a few documents (to add to the Amharic and English versions they have now of those same documents). Hopefully our agency will swiftly get us these docs so that we can move on to phase #145 of this crazy process (just kidding), but move on to the next phase nonetheless.

So in the meantime, what does THIS mama do with more waiting? Continue to prepare. Crazy how much preparation has gone into a little one that is a mere 11 pounds. If she only knew!

If little miss only knew how nerdy her mama was. Oh wait, no. That isn't what I meant, albeit true :) If she only knew how much she is anticipated and loved already. It would blow her itty-bitty socks off.

It’s no secret that I’ve read my way through countless books this last year. Covering topics from international adoption (like the actual nuts and bolts of the process), attachment, how to parent a child who has experienced trauma, books about Ethiopia, the orphan crisis, on and on and on………

What else could there possibly be? Oh, believe me there is more! 

I have officially started to add more layers to my preparation - hair care.

It will soon VERY apparent that I am out of my element in the haircare department. I’ve never had to really think about hair before. Myself and my bio children have VERY low maintenance hair. The styles that are currently in my portfolio are wearing hair down, the ponytail, the messy bun and the braid. Not a french braid, mind you. Just a plain braid. (big shout out to Disney and the character Elsa, from the movie Frozen, for popularizing the low plain braid. That was super helpful!)

So where does one turn to learn about hair that is totally different from my own and will require much more maintenance? There are MANY good resources, but my favorite? This place. 

Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care

The above is a blog by an adopted mama that has worked her way through this topic herself, has learned the in’s and out’s. Take a look at some of her daughters hairstyles. This mama has mastered it. Hands.down. Seriously, check out the blog and just take a look. That mama even has themed hair at times - think Valentines day hearts, Micky mouse for Disney, Shamrock for St. Patty's day. It is wild!

I don’t ever expect to master it like this, but knowing that I have a LOT of work ahead of me in this department - I’m starting now. BEFORE our little gal comes home. BEFORE I have a cute person head to learn on. Most likely I won’t ever be awesome, but I’d like to at least conquer some of the basics. I’ve been working on this, since I know myself well enough to know that before I would attempt a more intricate braid on an actual human person, I must at least master it on a yarn board. Have no fear. I don’t plan on dying little miss's hair purple, green & yellow so I can have a similar experience on her head - I also have plans to make a practice board in all brown for when I become “advanced” ;) 

Whew. Lots to learn, but with it comes excitement about having something new to work on!

Oh, how I CAN NOT WAIT to get back to this little one and scoop her up forever :) Please be praying that things process smoothly for us as we are in this final stretch......we are so hopeful we will be bringing her home this Fall! 

What you have been waiting for.....the giveaway winners

The draw commenced a few minutes late due to Saturday morning relaxedness (new word for ya!). I coaxed a pj-clad Tori from a morning cartoon in order to give the drawing total objectiveness.

The winners are announced via photo below, check it out :)

Names going in the hat!

My lovely assistant

The draw.......

Our first winner!

Our second winner!

Thanks to all of you all for entering - I hope that everyone checked out Connected in Hope and the amazing work they are doing in Ethiopia! Congratulations to Liz and Kari - your winning scarf will be in the mail this coming week :)

Have a great Saturday!

Only hours remain!

Until what?

The GIVEAWAY, of course!

Missed something? Click here to read about it and then comment via fb post OR blog to be entered! You have until Saturday morning, September 13th @ 9am. It's that simple :)

Oh, that everything could be so simple........

My kiddos will help with "the draw" tomorrow morning, so tune in (after you comment to put your hat in the ring) tomorrow morning for the winners to be announced!

For your listening pleasure, ah the lyrics. Redeemed.

Greater

by Mercy Me

GIVEAWAY!!!!

So you know how a few blog posts ago, I mentioned how those of you that have stuck with this blog for so long deserve some sort of reward? Well, it is time! Having just gotten back this week from Ethiopia and making some purchases from Connected in Hope's weaving compound in country, I thought this would be a good opportunity to show you all some love while at the same time highlighting this amazing NGO.

Connected in Hope (former firewood carriers association) was founded by an adoptive mom who saw a need. Teaching women a skill and providing income generating programs, education, afterschool programs, social work services and adult literacy/education programs is giving these women a hand up. The program not only creates opportunity for women with limited options, but it also works to make sure their family stays preserved. I encourage you to check out there website - you will find opportunities not just to purchase items and learn how you could host a trunk show that would help support these women, but you will get a glimpse into a different life. A glimpse that is invaluable, because let me tell you first hand, the way we live here in America? Oh peeps. We are wealthy. Ridiculously wealthy. With that glimpse, with that knowledge? We can use our dollars purposefully and help - whether that be choosing to purchase quality products that give back and support those in need or by donating.

Pictures are worth 1,000 words, so here you go.........keep scrolling for the giveaway!

A typical firewood carrier's load is 70-80lbs, walked 10 miles down a mountain and sells in the market for a dollar.

Former firewood carrier, now artisan working on a scarf. Each scarf takes approximately 2 hours to complete.

Sign outside of Connected in Hope's compound I visited in Addis at the base of Mt. Entono

Weaver inside the shop where completed scarves are ready to sell and/or ship

 Amazing, right? So obviously I am giving away scarves.........two to be exact! 

To enter the drawing, leave a comment on this blog post (don't worry when it doesn't show up immediately, I moderate my comments due to trollers who occasionally spew negativity, so there will be some delay, but will eventually show up :) OR if you are a fb friend of me or my hubs, you can leave a comment on the fb status that contains this blog post. 

What should your comment contain? Identifying info of who you are (it would be hard to send an anonymous person something) and a favorite color or two.......since I have a wide variety of scarf colors - that way, if you are one of the two lucky winners, I can send you the scarf of your dreams that has a story behind it! 

The drawing will take place NEXT Saturday at 9am, and the winners will be announced on the blog.

There you have it folks. 

Finally a short-term reward for keeping up with this adoption story for so long! Whew. It's about time!