A Word when there are no words.

I mentioned in my last post that a meeting was scheduled to take place this past Monday, between little miss's orphanage and the people that could give us the paperwork we need - what I did not realize is that this meeting was specifically just about little miss and that last document. The orphanage was presenting her case hoping, that due to her size and health, they would make an exception in requiring the last needed changed (since what we are waiting on is a clerical change, as she had already been cleared through this same regional process before her referral to us) What would be simple fix here in the states and take less than a minute to fix, is not so there. There is no set timeline for these types of forms to be processed - as in could take months or could take a year (which is obviously problematic for a very low weight child who isn't gaining) - which is why the orphanage was requesting an exception.

After talking to our agency Wednesday afternoon, we found out that the meeting did take place, however there would be no exception made. That not only does little miss need the regional document, but the zonal document as well. Apparently the zonal was recently re-done, however it didn't reflect the correct change and now has to be re-done again. The zonal has to be completed before the regional can even be asked for. So now we are waiting for TWO documents, one at a time. Both that have no estimated timeline of completion, because the folks that sign these documents are politicians - this isn't their main job, just a teeny tiny portion of their job.

Yeah, I know. Not the news you want to hear.

So what does this mean? More waiting. So much so that our program director won't even throw us a guess, because it is literally out of their hands. Things get done when they get done and no faster, in country. That is the reality. The only thing that the agency could do at this point would be to issue us a new referral.....which let me tell you, letting go of little miss's referral just because of excess wait time for us, when she needs an advocate? NOT.AN.OPTION. Needless to say, Wednesday there were EXTREME amounts of tears shed at the ridiculous situation that we find ourselves in.

Just so you all know - what we are going through with this adoption? IT IS NOT NORMAL.

I can't tell you the scores of other families that I have seen, all through our own agency, that this whole adoption thing has worked out for. Some fast and hitting no bumps, some slow and hitting snags - but no one like this.

I am not exaggerating. NO ONE.

This fact was brought up by our program director on Wednesday.

Our snags? These things that have happened in our process? The way our 1st referral was dramatically lost at court? (and the craziness surrounding that) This long paperwork wait for a child who was already "paper ready", and now we are at 6 mo. past referral with no end in sight?

Unprecedented.

Yes, unprecedented. That was the word he used.

They have never seen this happen to anyone else - let alone BOTH things happen to the same family.

Do you want to know something awesome? (of course you do, I just gave you all this dreary news)

Right after that phone conversation? God reminded me of something. Something that my mom had felt was a word for us MONTHS ago (like last Fall 2013, months ago). Something that at the time when she told me felt significant enough that I wrote the references on a note card and stuck it in my bible and it has been there ever since. Something that, at the time when she voiced it to me, seemed out of context because I was not even really struggling.......

The word she felt like was for my family? It was spot on.

A Word for when there were no words.

Down to the exact verb-age. When something could so easily plant and work it's way in my emotions/thoughts at that moment hearing, it was replaced. It was immediately replaced with a promise - what was said was replaced with hope.

You all - I can not express to you the HOPE I feel in spite of what looks to be our circumstance....that fact alone is supernatural! It was as if He was speaking directly to me at that moment. To have that word in advance. Already waiting in the wings. Already bookmarked in my bible - for the exact moment it was needed.

That my friend, is grace.

Let it be known, this situation isn't what I would ever choose on purpose, but I know that God's plans are not my plans, that His ways are higher than my ways. He sees the overarching picture and has plans beyond my comprehension - because He promises to use ALL THINGS for my good, He will use even this. I am CHOOSING to cling to what I know though the circumstances continue to look rough. God is good. God loves me, my family & my little miss. I don't know what blessings He has in store through this - but I can only imagine that they also will be beyond words.

His grace is sufficient for me.

Please be praying for little miss as she continues to wait and we continue to advocate for her. That we would be given clarity and wisdom, and that she would remain healthy while remaining in group care for longer than we'd like. Also please be praying for direction for us as a family - that we would be able to discern where God is leading us as we leave ourselves open to Him as this adoption continues to unfold and God writes the story.

Can't help myself........I love this new song. Worth a listen :)

Overwhelmed

by Big Daddy Weave

I see the work of Your Hands
Galaxies spin in a Heavenly dance oh God
All that You are is so overwhelming

I hear the sound of Your Voice
All at once it's a gentle and thundering noise oh God
All that You are is so overwhelming

I delight myself in You
Captivated by Your beauty
I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed by You

God, I run into Your arms
Unashamed because of mercy
I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed by You

I know the power of Your Cross
Forgiven and free forever You'll be my God

All that You've done is so overwhelming

I delight myself in You
In the Glory of Your Presence
I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed by You

God, I run into Your arms
Unashamed because of mercy
I'm overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed by You

You are Beautiful, You are Beautiful
Oh God, there is no one more Beautiful
You are Beautiful, God you are the most Beautiful

You are Wonderful, You are Wonderful
Oh God, there is no one more Wonderful
You are Wonderful, God You are the most Wonderful

You are Glorious, You are Glorious
Oh God, there is no one more Glorious
You are Glorious, God you are the most Glorious