Update - Week #56 post referral

Three weeks have passed since the last post......
It basically comes down to this: no new info + a long process = no words to type.
I was all out of vamp.
 

Little Miss's cuteness can not be contained!!!!

However, now there is reason to update........

So although there has been frustration along the way with our process, there are still *moments* of being grateful for parts of the delay. Moments that don't make sense when they are happening, but make sense afterward.

The review date that we didn't pass back in February? Because of a request that could have been satisfied (in country) about referral #1? So grateful that happened.

Why? My 93 year old grandfather passed away last week.

Had we had passed our review date in February? We would have been out of the country when it happened - I would have missed it. I would have missed visiting with my grandpa 4 days before he died. I would have missed being able to celebrate and honor his life with my family. This precious man. What an enormous impact on my life he (and my grandma) had/have.

It would have been heartbreaking to miss.
*If you would, please keep my grandma in your prayers, as she survives him and is grieving the loss of her husband after 71 years of marriage. That she would be comforted. For her health. So hard. It is just so hard.

I arrived home from my grandfather's funeral Friday evening (the 20th) - to an update email from our agency and found out that our file was reviewed early (it wasn't scheduled to be reviewed until Monday the 23rd) - the email told us that.......
...........................we got the signature that we have been waiting for.

Praise.The.Lord!

You can not imagine the sigh of relief that ensued.

Seriously. Take a moment and sigh with me. Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Now we are waiting on the next thing.
In adoption, there is always a next thing.

But in this case? The next thing? Is our actual court date (that WE attend) to be assigned.
*Normally* a court date is assigned pretty quickly after the signature we just received is aquired.........however, we have never fallen under the category of normal :) We are now a week out and still haven't heard a peep about when court will be.

As you can imagine. I am now back on the edge of my seat - as this news could quite literally come at any time - and we could find out that we are expected to be in country in less than a weeks time OR we could find out that our date is a few weeks out. I've seen it happen both ways to scores of folks before me.

People. Do you know how crazy that is?
Oy.

Please be praying for my sanity as we wait for this last bit of news......it is exciting, but I am so exhausted. The toll this whole process takes is unexplainable and I literally feel as though I struggle to focus on anything else at this point.

Only because this is SO funny do I even share - this is a recent card we received from a dear friend that I can't stop laughing about (the best part being the commentary written on the inside - which you can see below in the caption of the photo, worth the read!). As always, thank you to those around us for continue to pray and be an encouraging support! You have no idea how much we appreciate you!!!!!

Future Blog Post: Little Miss Calder's first trip to the beach! She still enjoys turning upside down.....and Cheryl's still finding creative ways to block out her face online ;)

Oh Little Miss.
How we look forward to your homecoming and being able to show your face.....
officially as our sweet daughter!

Soon and very soon. We are hanging on in hope!

Life in limbo

When I came home over a month ago we assumed that we would head back in a week or two......obviously an incorrect assumption ;)

When one expects to leave the country (for an extended amount of time, and quickly - some with only 2 days notice) one not only DOES NOT unpack the bags of donations that were going to be taken, but one also piles up the other amazing things they will get to bring because they have now been  allotted two MORE bags (because now of the extra flight over)......so parts of the home start to look like what is pictured below and will stay like this until departure:

Youngest male Calder expressing how mama feels....

Carry-On bags just full of randomness we will need.....

It is a constant visual reminder of our life in limbo.

The first two weeks back it was almost as if I was trying NOT to be here - no need to schedule anything, keep the calendar clear, etc. because I never knew when we might get the news and be called away. Then it continued. I realized that I am indeed here, but still refused to fill our schedule.

I have found myself sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for news - and then be disappointed when the news doesn't come. Sigh. Can I tell you how exhausting that is? Add to that having a lot of time on my hands since the three kiddos are in school and I am no longer work part-time as of January 1st (in prep for Little Miss's arrival). Not a good combination. LOTS of time. Dragging. Oy. This has not been the best of times.

Well......just this past Wednesday I made a conscious decision to get off the edge of my seat.

I believe it WILL happen, Little Miss WILL come home.

Unfortunately, I don't think it will be anytime soon.

It is a good thing that this thought process happened on Wednesday. Because yesterday (Thursday)? We found out that we not only needed a new review date (our 3rd review), but that it wasn't scheduled until the 4th week of March. Wow.

Obviously a date that far out was not the news we were hoping for. It has become fairly evident that every time we hit a snag and don't pass a review date? It automatically adds at least a month to our timeline. You can't imagine how frustrating this has become, especially at this point. Snags in this phase of the process were unheard of just a few months ago. This is a brand new breed of delay. There are multiple factors that go into these delays we are facing - I don't want to go explain the why's here because it is multi-layered and super complicated to explain, but if you are truly interested - ask me in person. I am more than willing to engage you in conversation for hours :)

I had someone ask me this week if I was tired of people asking about the delays.

My response?

Nope. Just tired of living it.

Tired of the fact that Little Miss has had to live in group care for an extended period of time, when she has had a family all this time.....*sigh*

I am so ready for this story to wrap up. When posting last week about our referral-versary, I started thinking how exhausting it must be for YOU all to follow our story. You must also be growing weary......

Stick with us folks. God's got BIG plans for this girl - just you wait and see!

Update pic week #53

I am so incredibly grateful for the encouraging family and friends that are walking beside us through these continual unexpected struggles (I even got a good laugh out of the reaction of one loved one at this last batch of news - oh how it helps to have people who literally feel the way you feel). Those of you in our inner support circle? You are indescribable gifts. You not only remind me of the what the Word says when I'm weary - but you lovingly and continually point to the giver of strength, the lifter of our head, the redeemer of all. God knew how we would need support to get through this, and through these folks, we've seen provision in this area FAR BEYOND what we ever could have imagined.

For those praying for us as we slog through what feels epically ridiculous at this point? Thank you. Please don't stop! God hears us when we call out to Him, it is such an encouragement to us just knowing there are so many people crying out to God on Little Miss's behalf!

Move Lord Jesus!