Change of pace

Easter is rolling around again. Seriously. It is in three weeks. How odd it feels that time goes by so fast that I am lagging behind - mentally I feel like I am hovering around in mid-February, not at the start of April.

So over the course of this past year I'm sure it has become pretty apparent to all that God has REALLY been messing with me......in the area of comfort, possessions and compassion. When we took the step out in faith at the beginning of the adoption process - what really began to happen is that God began to open up our eyes to see the need in the world. True need.

The shift I feel is permeating many areas of my life, and it is rearing it's head once again this Easter. Just take a step back and look at Easter. It is so easy to see - it has been so consumerized. We've turned an event where we are supposed to be remembering Jesus's extreme sacrifice for our sins (death on the cross) and the resurrection (victory over death) and turned it into something else entirely. Dressing up. Easter Baskets. Egg hunts. Chicks. Eggs. Ducks. Ham dinner. The list goes on and on.

I read a book "7 - an experimental mutiny against excess" by Jen Hatmaker last year, and a portion touched on this very thing. This book makes you both laugh out loud and think. It's a good read, if you're looking for a recommendation :) I digress.
Here is an excerpt from the book (the author speaking) "Between ages zero and thirty-two, I celebrated Easter the fun way: with bunnies, baskets, and expensive clothes. What better way to say "Jesus reigns" than dressing my preschooler in a $45 dress to show her off in the church lobby? (You're welcome, Jesus. Be blessed)"

See my hand up? That is how I've always celebrated. Well, this year we a making a small tweak. This year the Calder family is going to participate in something called Forget the Frock.

What the heck right? click here to read more about it.

 The premise is to take the money that would have been spent on holiday wear......and make a difference with it. Being a Dave Ramsey FPU alum and past facilitator, I can tell you that I have learned that money is finite and we choose where to put it. When you choose to buy one thing, you are in essence choosing not to do something else. So this year, instead of buying a new outfit/shirt/dress/whatever and placing our money in the hands of our local Target (most likely :), we are getting a t-shirt instead through Forget the frock - this $20 t-shirt purchase = $20 that goes directly to the organization "feeding the orphans" in Ghana, Africa - and get this, feeds orphans. Money that makes a difference. Meets a need. Cool.

Honestly? Publicly sharing that we are going to participate this year is extremely awkward at best. Jason and I went back and forth with this. Not the participation in it, but the sharing of it.
Here is why:

 Matthew 6:1-4 (here is the sum up) "when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing"

When Jason and I give, it is just between us and God - but this time we feel compelled to share. Why are we deciding to share now? Why tell you all? Because it is important. There is need. 

Oftentimes people want to help, but just don't know how. What is a good organization? What is a good cause? AND oftentimes people that want to help might not feel they have the money........well this is an awesome chance that YOU could take to re-purpose money that you were already going to spend, for an amazing purpose. I am sharing this to tell you that HERE is an opportunity to give. This is an opportunity to "sacrifice" something this Easter. It isn't much, but it is sacrifice. 

Sacrificing how others might perceive you (wearing a t-shirt on Easter, gasp!). Sacrificing a family photo tradition. Maybe sacrificing how other money might be spent on this holiday. Who knows what else. In that sacrifice, you could give. On Easter? Wow.

The need is so large. You can't do everything. But everyone can do something.

Love this song........

Do Something

by Matthew West

Please see my heart in this post - this is not about me and what my family is doing......this post is about highlighting an opportunity for you to give.

So what happens next?

Referral wait is over. Whew. So now the question always turns to what happens next? Well my friends, we still have quite the process ahead of us. Basically once a referral comes, it is like stepping into the next phase of the wait.......but at least now there is a cute face to look at and pray for! 

Recently Ethiopian adoptions have undergone some changes and the process is different post-referral than what it was last Spring with our first referral - so what is coming next is new for us (and lots of other people)

It used to go like this:

Submitted to court (a child "paper ready", within 3 to 4 weeks of referral acceptance)

Birthparent or finder court date (3 or 4 weeks later)

Adoptive parent court date (2 to 4 weeks later) *after this court date child is considered adopted.

Submitted to Embassy (2 to 3 weeks later)

Birthparent or finder Embassy date (2 to 4 weeks later)

Clear Embassy & come home (1 to 2 weeks later)

Total time after referral to court: 2 to 3 months

Total time after referral to home: 4 to 5 months

The process now:

Submit I-600 to USCIS for PAIR process (typically 2 to 4 weeks to submit after accepting referral)

PAIR process/ Birth Parent or Finder Embassy interviews (8-12 weeks)

Submitted to Court (1 to 2 weeks)

Birthparent or finder Court date (2 to 4 weeks)

Adoptive Parent court date (2 to 4 weeks) *after this court date child is considered adopted.

Clear Embassy & Come home (3 to 6 weeks)

Total time after referral to court: 4 to 5 months

Total time after referral to home: 5 to 7 months

Time frames are obviously VERY approximate - one little bump can cost you weeks, sometimes months (just look at our very long referral loss bump for reference) The main difference between what the process looks like now vs. before is that the United States is basically clearing these children BEFORE they go to court, ensuring that once they are legally adopted in Ethiopia by the adoptive parents, that they will indeed be issued visas to come into the United States. A very good thing. It is also a great safeguard to double check the kiddos stories to make sure that everything is being done ethically and that these are true children who are in need. 

If you are like me,  you are adding up the approximate times in the above process and trying to figure out just when we might be bringing our little gal home. Unfortunately, it's not quite as simple as that, other factors are at play. Ethiopian courts close for 2 months out of the year - from about mid-August to mid-October. As it stands now with our adoption......if everything were to move on the fastest timeline possible with only the smallest of bumps in the road, we might make it to Ethiopia before court closure in August. As much as I want to be there sooner rather than later - knowing how adoption works, I am preparing myself for the Fall. It is a mind-set thing for me. I don't want to spend these next 4 or 5 months driving myself crazy trying to speed up something that I have no control over. 

So what do we do in the meantime? Wait. Pray. Trust. I know that God has got this. He's got this timing thing worked out all I need to do is just wait on Him. 

The good news? This phase in the wait, although potentially long, comes with cuteness. We are so fortunate that our agency provides weekly updates (complete with pictures) of our child, which gives us something to look forward each week. They are so amazing. Last week we got our first genuine smiley picture of our gal. Wowza. She is a precious little girl :)

Please keep her in your prayers - that she would stay healthy, she would truly feel loved where she is now and that God would prepare her heart for our family. Pray for the paperwork side of things, that it would go as smooth as possible for us.

Announcement

....................We interrupt this wait to announce that WE. HAVE. A. REFERRAL......................

Nine months after losing our first referral (which, the irony of the 9mo. wait is not lost on me) - we finally got another referral!!!!!

Unfortunately, I can't give many details - except that she is a girl, sweet as can be and appears to be all eyes :) The timing of it was insane. Some of the details are just amazing. Even down to her name. Wow. I'd love to show y'all a picture, but can only do so in person until we pass court and she is "officially" ours. If we see you around - just ask - we'd love nothing more than to show you!

We have been sitting on this news for a few weeks (only telling family & in-town friends), so the tens of you in my readership will have to forgive me for not bursting forth and shouting the news from the rooftops as soon as it happened. I never could have dreamed how complex the emotions behind this could be, especially after waiting all this time. We are absolutely thrilled, but after experiencing a previous loss, we also instantly put up our guard. In all reality we are no further than we were the first go around (since we lost our 1st referral AT court), and there is still a long road ahead of us with no guarantees until she is actually in our arms. 

So when will she be in our arms? Well, believe it or not, the adoption process (post referral) has changed since we had our 1st referral last Spring. Soon I'll post about what steps come next and what we can hopefully expect in the coming months.

Please be praying for this us in this next phase of the wait. That we would continue to trust in God's timing and that God would protect this sweet little one as she waits.

Another fav.......I don't want to disappoint!

All the people said Amen

By Matt Maher

Tuesday's Tunes

Last week I was listening to a podcast from the church we used to go to in Columbia. It was about trials. It was ooooohhhhhh so good. Want a listen? click here , scroll down to the very bottom - "don't waste your trials."

In listening through some messages, one contained a prayer written by John Wesley.....

I am no longer my own, but yours.
Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will;
put me to doing, put me to suffering;
let me be employed for you, or laid aside for you,
exalted for you, or brought low for you;
let me be full,
let me be empty,
let me have all things,
let me have nothing:
I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things
to your pleasure and disposal.

Wow. This is where He is bringing me.....I am learning things presently that I'd not learned any other way so far in my short lifetime, through trials comes surrender. Sweet surrender.

Here is a tune for your Tuesday. A favorite - enjoy!