Maybe this is common knowledge, but I sure didn't put words to it until recently. I have been reading a new devotional, One Thousand Gifts Devotional by Ann Voskamp, which is what brought this revelation to the surface.
The devotional itself is one of thanksgiving. Encouraging the reader to see the everyday graces that God gives us each day, in the little things. Living in the now. Giving thanks for the now. Even listing them (I am currently on #125) so as to continually be aware of the gifts, of the graces we are given......to reflect back on, to stop and ponder. You know what starts to happen? It starts to change your posture, your approach. From "why aren't you doing such and such" - to "Wow. Look at all you are doing!"
Anyhow, I digress.
About a week into the devotional I came across one that was entitled "Trusting Grace". Here are some excerpts from that devotional that struck a cord with me......(from the below stars to the next set of stars her words, not mine)
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If I believe, then I must let go and trust. Belief in God has to be more than mental assent, more than a cliched exercise in cognition. What is saving belief if it isn't the radical dare to wholly trust?
Pisteuo is used more than two hundred times in the New Testament, most often translated as "belief." But it changes everything when I read that pisteuo ultimately means "to put one's faith in; to trust." Belief is a verb, something that you do.
Then the truth is that authentic, saving belief must be also? The very real, everyday action of trusting....then a true saving faith is a faith that gives thanks, a faith that sees God, a faith that deeply trusts.......
"Jesus replied, 'This is the work (service) that God asks of you: that you believe in the One Whom He has sent (that you cleave to, trust, rely on, and have faith in His Messenger)'" (John 6:29 AMP) That's my daily work, the work God asks of me? To trust.
Sometimes, too often, I don't want to muster the energy. Stress and anxiety seem easier. Easier to let a mind run wild with the worry than to exercise discipline, to rein her in, slip the blinders on, and train her to walk steady in certain assurance, not spooked by the specters looming ahead.
And I know and haltingly confess (me too :) : Much of the worry in my own life has been a failure to believe.....a wariness to thank and trust the loving hand of God.....I know my supreme need is joy in God and I know I can't experience deep joy in God until I deep trust in God......trusting God is my most urgent need.
"He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" Romans 8:32
He gave us Jesus. Jesus! Gave Him up for us all. If we have only one memory, isn't this one enough? Why is this the memory I most often take for granted? He cut open the flesh of the God-Man and let the blood. He washed our grime with the bloody grace. He drove the iron ore through His own vein. Doesn't that memory alone suffice? Need there be anything more? If God didn't withhold from us His very own Son, will God withhold anything we need?
If trust must be earned, hasn't God unequivocally earned our trust with the bark on the raw wounds, the thorns pressed into the brow, your name on the cracked lips? How will He not also graciously give us all things He deems best and right? He's already given the incomprehensible.
Christ is our Crossbeam.
The counting of all blessings is ultimately summed up in One.
The radical wonder of it stuns me happy, hushes me still: It's all Christ. Every moment, every event, every happening.
It's all in Christ and in Christ we are always safe.
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Good right?
It is amazing throughout this elongated, twisty-turny adoption process how much I battle (daily) to fight to trust and look UP. Trust is a truly a mental exercise. Reading this devotion validated what I am living through. Trust is active. I can't tell you how often I SO badly want to grab up my worry and fall apart comparing - and sometimes I fail miserably - BUT when I catch myself and stop to look at what God IS doing (and has done!) and not what he isn't doing (on my timeline), I have to give thanks. He.Has.Got.This. He is working for my good. Worry wants me to latch onto what ifs - Trust wants me to remember that it is not even mine to what if. God is writing the story. He has proven himself loving, good, faithful & sacrificial.....
....and trustworthy.
Actively trusting and looking up? That is the only thing that has kept me from being a ridiculous sac of sadness throughout all our snags. But even knowing and actively looking up, I realized recently that there has been piece of me that hadn't totally yielded. Not all in. I found myself riding this line of trusting God in the process, but not necessarily trusting that THIS little miss is the one. That THIS little miss will come home. I personally know what it is like to lose a referral.......so with that comes holding back.
With that little bit of holding back? It becomes hard to hope for the finale. The ending. Jason & I actually coming home with little miss mighty in our arms. Oh how I long for that, but somewhere along the way, I feel like I stopped seeing it.....it's been about this dragging on process and what God is doing in it, not the ending OF it.
Do you know ONE of my #125 gifts listed so far of the thousand? Support. All the support we've experienced over the last 2 years and more specifically prayer support, as of late, that we know is being lifted up on our and little miss's behalf. This is something that WAY back at the beginning of our adoption, before anybody knew we were even thinking about adopting, we were praying for. For support.
This week specifically, I had two timely words from two different people, which spoke DIRECTLY to the above. To the holding back of that last bit of trust - to, what at the time, I couldn't even voice.
One emailed and felt impressed to reminded me of two more names of God. Alpha & Omega - the beginning & the end. HE started this. He will FINISH it. Start proclaiming the end....."Little Miss is coming home."
Another pointed to a God worth trusting. How being in an extremely rough time herself many years ago and still not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, she made the choice - to go with the old adage of putting all her eggs in one basket. She couldn't see the end, but put it all on God. He would see her through, even when she couldn't see the end. She trusted the end was written and God would prove faithful.
It was a gift.
The grace that I needed so desperately, right when I needed it. God is good!
I am trusting God for the end. Little miss mighty's homecoming.
Please continue praying for a supernatural breakthrough for our adoption process - I found out just today that early next week our orphanage is supposed to meet with the people who could give us the paperwork we need. Pray for favor and that her case would top priority.
If you've read through this blog post this far you deserve a reward. Whew. Long winded today :)
The sum up is that reward: Christ is all. Because of the example of sacrifice ALREADY shown to us, we know He loves us and is faithful.
I'm adding this song (even though it is a Friday, gasp!). How Great is our God by Chris Tomlin. Jesus came for all. Every tribe, every tounge, every nation........it says in the Word that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord - how grateful I am to be able to sing the praises of my God and hearing His name proclaimed by cultures worldwide is glorious. A piece of heaven on earth.
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