The loop and a Tuesday Tune.....

We recently found out that weeks ago our agency did indeed received the document that we had been told we were waiting for, a birth certificate......however, as it turns out, we needed that document in order to submit for another. A regional document that is notorious for taking a long time to show up, one that we just now started to wait for and isn't included in almost all of the last 5 months of wait.

Sigh.

That was some tough news. The kind of news that took my hope that we could definitely travel to little miss this Fall (if the paperwork came in soon) and could potentially even push it out into next year sometime.

Jason & I were processing (read: me crying) this past Saturday night about the ridiculousness of it all. How the end is getting SO hard to see and hope for. How we might just be at the start of yet another long wait.

But then Sunday came.

I headed to church with tears already near the surface. Raw. God met me there.

Our pastor has been going through the book of Daniel this Summer. Courage was the sermon series. This week? Daniel and the Lions Den. Immediately you would think of the Sunday School version of the message - where is he going to go with something so well known? What could God have for me through this?

More than you could imagine.

He started with reading this from Daniel 6:16-17:
16 So the king gave the order, and they brought Daniel and threw him in the lions den. The king said to Daniel, "May your God who you serve continually, rescue you!" 17 A stone was brought and placed over the mouth of the den, and the king sealed it with his own signet ring and with the rings of his nobles, so that Daniel's situation might not be changed.

And he proceeded to talk about snapshots of stories. If someone who didn't know that story - the beginning, the end - they would read that vs 16 & 17 snapshot and come to a conclusion of what happened to Daniel.

Dinner.

This correlated SO closely with our situation. I think I cried through the majority of this message. THIS is US. I know God called us to adopt and we experienced Him providing what we needed to do so (the beginning), but finding out the WHAT we were waiting for now? Oh the dread. I stopped and for a few days (without realizing it) was staring at the snapshot of looking at this in the natural. However, I also realized that I already know the end of the story. How? Because God is faithful.

Pastor Shawn said something that rang SO true Sunday. We all like to HEAR about the supernatural. We all like to SEE it happen for others.......we just don't truly like to be in that position ourselves, where we need supernatural intervention.

Talk about a huge head nod from the middle-right portion of the congregation!

I AM LIVING that statement - oh, how I much would have preferred an adoption that followed a normal timeframe from beginning to end! However, that is not what we have had.

That is not where we find ourselves.

We find ourselves in a situation where in the natural - there could still be a LONG wait ahead.

We need a supernatural breakthrough!

We are praying for it ourselves and are calling all prayer warriors - You! My family, our little girl needs you! The God who created the Universe, parted the Red Sea, ^^^saved Daniel from a den of Lions, made the walls of Jericho fall, healed the sick, raised the dead......and on and on and on. That is the God who knows my girl by name (Psalms 139). Who hears us when we call to Him (Psalms 34:15). Who can move the hearts of kings. Please be joining us in prayer for God to move in a BIG way..........I'm done with my lingering glance of the snapshot and how this should play out in the natural. I am ready for the homecoming. The end of the story celebration that I know is coming!!!!!!

Want to listen to the message? Because believe me, I didn't do the sum up justice. Click here.

In other news (this is good stuff keep reading).....it is no secret that I have been missing my girl something fierce as of late, so much so that I found myself glad for sunglasses today while sitting at swimming lessons, watching the kids as the Tuesday's tune song (below) came on the radio they had playing overhead at the pool.

Tears.

I have been kicking around the idea of heading back to visit late August when my friend Rhonda (who I traveled with in May) travels to pick up her son. She was planning on going solo. My thoughts being that I could help her out on that long plane ride back, check in to what is going on with our paperwork IN country, and love on my sweet girl.

The problem? Well there are obviously lots of things to consider - family, time, budget, when we could potentially travel for court (i.e. if it was in the Fall and I did travel in August, was the trip needed? If we don't travel until next year and missed this opportunity, would it be a regret?) etc. 

I don't want to go based on emotions alone, because face it, if I went on emotions alone I would have still be living in country right now because I couldn't have left her behind all alone.

Anyhow. I was praying for clear confirmation of what to do (either way, for a yay go! or a no go). Between me and the Lord, I knew that clear confirmation to go would be that the ticket cost would be covered. That way, EVEN IF we travel in the Fall, this would not ever "feel" like a wasted trip. 

Yesterday morning? I awoke to an email.....a friend (who knew NOT of my asking God for confirmation, just that I was wanting to go) wrote and told me that they wanted to cover half of my ticket. What? Utter amazement & tears.

I was telling a family member later that morning about what had happened. About that confirmation. She told me that they wanted to cover the other half of the ticket. 

Incredible. Absolutely incredible. This mama gets to head back to see my sweet girl in about a month's time. I was so blown away. One of the Lord's names came to mind: Jehovah Jireh - the Lord will provide.....which was in a song we sang a LONG time ago as a kid, and it has been running through my mind ever since. Love it!

Don't doubt it. God hears when we call to Him. And you, my reader(s) have a front row seat to seeing through this adoption that He answers prayers. His answers might not always be fast, or exactly when and what I want at times, but He hears. He is always working all things for my good because HE is good and He loves me.

He. Loves. Me. 

Yep. The God of the Universe. Creator of all. Loves me. Despite my weaknesses (because of my weaknesses!), despite me trying to take things in my control, despite my sin, He loves me.

Know what else? He loves you too............Psalms 139:13-16, John 3:16-17, Romans 8:35-39 (for more clarification)

Pretty sure this Tuesday's tune isn't an adoption song or how much God loves you song ;) as when I youtube'd it, it apparently was in a popular movie that I hadn't seen - but it sure is a good one that fits at least me thinking of my little miss!

A Thousand Years

Christina Perri

Tiny Miss Mighty

Amazing how emotions are all over the place when you've got a bitty on the other side of the world. Still SO thankful, but let me tell you, I'm missing this little one something fierce. Thought that needed to be noted.......lest you all somehow get the impression that I am superwaiter - ha!

Psalms 73:26 My heart and my flesh may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

God sure isn't calling me to have it all together all the time. There are plenty of tears shed (especially yesterday!) because of how badly I long to have this little one home, but He knows. He hears. When I'm a mess, when emotions fight to take control? Running to Him is always the answer. Every time.

Giving thanks.

Nope. Still not the update saying that things are moving beautifully in the right direction. Hang on though, I know it has to be coming soon. The good news? Amidst the circumstances we find ourselves in, waiting for the last piece of paperwork and my super teeny little miss putting on zero weight for over a month's time, God is continually bringing us to a place of thankfulness......

God has been showing me throughout this process that even in the tough stuff - that He is good.

His grace abounds.

It was never more evident to me than this last week when the hubs spoke to our program director, voicing concerns about our little miss's lack of weight gain.....trying to figure what we might be able to do from afar. Proposing that maybe an allergy was the cause - and to try something else yet again.

The response? There are other babies in the same predicament (low or no gains) as our gal. These babies are watched very closely and are weighed every other day. In fact, they have the best medical care available and they have tried everything from an NG tube, to on the hour feedings, to preemie formula for our gal - and we were told they would be willing to try anything else we might propose.

You know what grace looks like amidst tough circumstances?
*That we live in a day and age that adoptive mom's are connected via internet.
*That specialized formula which cannot be purchased in country can be purchased here in the states online and shipped to the homes of adoptive mama's leaving soon who are generous enough to act as pack mules :)
*That the formula we proposed that our little gal should try I was able to get to her in less than a week's time, due to two different mama's traveling soon.
*That one of those two mama's not only dropped off the formula TODAY, but was able to love on my gal for a couple of hours.

Do you know what else hit me after the hubs phone conversation?
Other babies......other babies in the same predicament.

Our little gal was what they refer to as "paper ready" when we got her referral. Ready to move onto the next step. No one expected the paperwork snag that we have encountered. Having to have some documents redone. If the delay had been anticipated? We would have never been issued her referral. In fact, NO ONE would have been issued her referral until all her paperwork was ready to go.

I don't know if you all are keeping track of my timeline or not, but it has been 5 months since we received her referral. 5 MONTHS.  

The thought of that makes me one thankful mama.

Not because I love to wait so much - but because my little miss has an advocate that she otherwise wouldn't have had if she hadn't of been referred. Although far away, she has someone watching extra close. Someone praying for her. Sending over much needed formula by the case. Who cares about the delay, I am so thankful that she has an advocate. I don't even want to imagine the situation she could be in if she didn't.....

Through this I realized. God is working all things for good, like He promises in Romans 8:28. He is working all things for HER good.

Seriously. If she had to wait this out (which there was no choice in that matter), she needed a family through it all, even while in country.

But He isn't only just working for HER good, but for those other little low weight babes that are there, most likely without a family yet. He is providing for their needs because of our wait for our girl......and this mama not knowing how much a formula fed baby eats, keeps sending it by the case load :)

Amazing when the realization hits that things aren't all about me or my timeline - God's got a story going on that is bigger than just little ol' me, and for His glory and only through His grace can I even see it to embrace it.

The Lord be praised!

Please continue to pray for a breakthrough for us. As thankful as I am that her needs are being met, I would really love this girl to come home! I know she would do better not in group care. Many people have asked for a timeframe of when that might take place.....honestly, there really isn't one. Basically three to four months after we finally receive our last document is our best guesstimate at this point. If we get it tomorrow? Maybe early Fall. If we don't get it until the Fall? It would be after the New Year - all of it hinges on that one last document!

A GIANT praise - my friend Rhonda (who I traveled with in May) finally got a court date for her little man and will be leaving next week! Woohoo :)

Love this tune - says it all :) (or most of it all)

Say Amen

by Finding Favour

•  This life is a journey we walk by faith
  And there will always be the mountains in our way
  But right here in this moment, may our strength be renewed
  As we recall what God has done and how we've seen Him move
  
  If there's anybody here who's found Him faithful
  Anybody here who knows He's able
  Say Amen
  And if there's anybody here who's seen His power
  Anybody here brought through the fire
  Say Amen
  Anybody here found joy in the middle of sorrow
  Just Say AMEN!
  
  Sometimes through the darkness, it's hard to see
  So just be brave and follow where He leads
  'Cause greater is the one who's in us, than he who's in the world
  So child of God remember, the battle is the Lord's
  
  And if there's anybody here who's found Him faithful
  Anybody here who knows He's able
  Say Amen
  And if there's anybody here who's seen His power
  Anybody here brought through the fire
  Say Amen
  Anybody here found joy in the middle of sorrow
  Peace in the storm, hope for tomorrow
  And seen it time and time again
  Then just Say AMEN!
  
  Even in the valley of the shadow when you feel alone in the unknown
  Just say Amen, Just say Amen
  Even when the storms are raging, Stand and know your not forsaken
  Just say Amen, Just say Amen
  
  Is there anybody here, Tell me is there anybody here
  Come on and Say Amen
  
  And if there's anybody here who's seen His power
  Anybody here brought through the fire
  Come on and Say Amen
  Anybody here found joy in the middle of sorrow
  Peace in the storm, hope for tomorrow
  And seen it time and time again
  Just say Amen, Just say Amen!

Update

What I wouldn't give for an update that would have the news of forward motion! However, this is not that update. No movement has happened yet. Our adoption is still in the exact same place it was almost a month ago, the last time I posted, still waiting on that last document to arrive.

Even though there are absolutely moments of frustration and occasional sadness with the ridiculousness of it all, I am not without hope. I am resting in a place of grace in the wait. It will happen when it finally happens. Why can I rest? Because God has been showing me throughout this whole process that He is Good and He can be trusted........that gives me hope. Regardless of what situation we find ourselves in. My loving Savior has my back and promises to use ALL things for my good. Even the things that feel ridiculously slow to me :)

So in the meantime? Life has gone on.

Although little miss never leaves my mind for long - I've filled my time this summer almost TOO well, with LOTS of busy which helps time move along. Birthdays (for my two boys). Out of town guests. Swim team. Work. Tot Lot camp. Baseball. Various Summer activities. And a basement finishing project that threads through all of that. Whew.....Summer isn't over - and I'm gearing up to head out to volunteer at another week of Tot Lot next week.

Even though our adoption has been on pause waiting for this one doc to come, these last few weeks have been full of movement for other families I have gotten to know who are also with our agency. I have been thrilled to watch so many families head to their court dates in country and get to see their sweet babies faces publicly online for the first time. What a joy!

Along with the excitement of watching others move in their adoption processes, one dear friend was able to actually VISIT with my sweet girl for a few minutes last week. Being able to get "live" updates from someone I know, who was there in country, was so amazing. Although she has had no weight gains for the past two weeks, it is reported that she is indeed healthy, happy, alert & strong (she is able to put weight on her legs - apparently being tiny is helpful for some things!). It was also funny to hear how the two mama's who saw her also noted how strange it looked for one so small to do age appropriate things.....little miss is small, but mighty (as my friend Rhonda would say!)

So as we all know, encouragement can come in many forms - but for me? Well, today it came in the form of another blogging family that I've been following for a year and a half. They were in process to adopt from DRC Congo and experienced MANY delays.....and yesterday? They were finally and miraculously able to bring home their daughter. My heart has been LEAPING with joy for this family! Click here for the read. We serve a BIG God!

We are hopeful that you will continue to agree with us in prayer for forward movement to be made in our adoption process of little miss, that God would protect her health and that we would continue to rest in God's abundant grace!