Camp time!

This is an exciting week! My 3 kiddos and I are heading down to City Union Mission's Camp in the Ozarks. Camp CUMCITO for short.

What is it?

Pure awesomeness.

This camp is for underprivileged children from the Kansas City's urban core. Kids come to a week of camp - FOR FREE - and get to experience good food, the outdoors, swimming, crafts and tons of activities that they would normally not have exposure to. The week even ends with a banquet & carnival. Although there are different camp weeks for kids ages 4 to 16 - I have always worked at Tot Lot, which is geared for ages 4 to 6.

Camp is where God first started putting adoption on my heart.

When I first started volunteering at age 14, it was truly my first time out of my suburbia bubble. Oh, don't get me wrong. I had heard of people in need. I knew they existed, but other than driving downtown with our doors locked, there wasn't much exposure. (of course, I do understand that at as a girl at age 14, there is limited exposure to be had anyway.....) However, that first year I went to camp, put a face was to the need. Who knew kids were affected by need?

WOW - what impact that has on a teenager to see a need and have the opportunity to serve. Camp (and follow up, city-side) changed my life perspective as I knew it.

God used these experiences serving at camp, over the course of many summers, to soften my heart. To put an ache in my heart and leave space to love a child that is not my own, as my own.

Jason and I had talked about adoption on and off throughout the years. Honestly, we thought we wouldn't adopt until our children were older and our plans were to adopt out of foster care. Last summer we felt God prompting us that the time was now. Well, he prompted me. Jason wasn't sure that the time was really now. Obviously, I wasn't going to push him - we both needed to be in agreement, so I just prayed. Jason went to camp with us last summer, as a big brother at Tot Lot, and had four 4yr. old boys (one of them being our own Joel). God used camp once again. We came home after an exhausting week and were decompressing from the week and he told me......the time was now. Adoption was on the table. You see, Jason was not sure he could love another child as he loved our own. But after spending a week at camp (all day, everyday) with his 4yr. old campers - Jason knew that he could.

Amazing.

Our adoption road has taken some turns that we didn't expect, but God keeps pointing us to - Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." 

So want to know something else incredible?

Camp CUMCITO's theme this summer?

Adopted by the Father.

Seriously, thanks God. Now you're just making this fun :)


Below is a short Tot Lot video that I made, originally for camp training purposes, that you can view if you want to get a glimpse of the fun that is camp! Please be praying for us this week - for opportunities to share the gospel, for opportunities to show love and for safety!

Enjoy........

Processing....and Tuesday's Tunes

We are doing well - for all those who find themselves wondering.....

However, bear with me as I try to unravel the complex emotions of the past week.

It is amazing the change that one phone call can bring. Last Monday at 2:14pm, we thought we would be traveling to Ethiopia in a few weeks time to meet our baby girl and were awaiting the exact dates for travel. That same Monday at 2:15pm we were instantly back at the beginning of the referral process waiting to find out just who that daughter was.

Quite a change of direction in one minute.

Definitely a shock to the system.

It has now been over a week since we found out that we lost our referral. It was hard. Oh, the immeasurable disappointed feelings involved. But at the end of the day, even a tough day with tough news - we are so grateful to have a solid rock on which to stand. What a difference it makes. To know that we have a God who loves us so much so that he sent his only son to REDEEM us. That God loves us so much that He sent Jesus when we were still in drowning in our yuck. God is our strength. He is our song. He is our portion. He is enough.

Jason & I truly believe in Romans 8:28 - We know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

ALL things. Even the hard. Even the things that don't seem to swing our way. ALL things.

It is easy, as in any unexpected situation like this, to get caught up in the "why's" of it all. 

Why did it happen?

Why our family?

Why did we have to lose that time?

The amazing thing is that, by God's grace, and walking with Him through this time of processing emotions - the "why's" aren't a negative thing. I know that this side of heaven we won't have the full picture, but I can't help but wonder why we had baby H in our lives for that short time.....was it because she needed better care the foster home could provide in order to survive? Was it because the little gal intended for us (who we've yet to see) was not yet ready in some way? Was it because God knew we would be praying for Baby H during those 2 months for what was best for her - regardless of how it affected us? Was it because He knew we would pray for her birth mama's heart? Was it to imprint her on our family so that she would be a part of us forever - even though we'd never even met?

I can not wait to find out why.

We know that we can't see the big picture. Only God can, which is both awesome and scary (if you have a control thing that sometimes flares up - yes, I just raised my hand too). The thing is....knowing that there is a bigger picture, that we can't possibly see it all, is where trust comes into play. Because, you see, God has plans for us in which He promises things.....

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

In all honesty there are times where fears start to come in. Even this morning, I found myself starting to think & then overthink about when the new referral will come and wonder when stuff will start to happen again - you see, I'm back in the crazy waiting (no timeline) phase again.

But God met me right where I was at once again. Here are some amazing things that spoke right to my heart from my devotional this morning....about not anticipating God's plans, to just concentrate on keeping in step with Him. If you trust that His plans are to prosper you and not to harm you (Jer. 29:11), you can relax and enjoy the present moment.

Ummm. Yeah. Totally written just for me.

It gets better.

One of the verses referenced was Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."  Which is the exact verse that has been on my heart since the beginning of this process. From the beginning we have felt God's hand directing our steps. If you would have told me last year at this time that we would be adopting from Ethiopia, I literally might have laughed out loud. Why? Because I had already determined my course and Ethiopia was not in "my" plans. However, now I know that we are exactly where God wants us. So even though we have experienced this adoption sna-fu, we know that God is determining our steps. God already knows the gal that He  has intended for us. This in no way took him by surprise. There is no other verse that I could have been directed to this morning that would have had the same refreshing effect as that one.

God is amazing! He knows just what we need, right when we need it.

And,
here it is.
What you've been waiting for because it is the other half of the above subject title.
Tuesday's Tune.

 Already There

by Casting Crowns

Court results....

Okay all, prepare yourselves.

Curve ball about to be thrown.

Our rescheduled court date for Baby H was today. We were hoping to find out as early as Tuesday when we would travel for our court date. However, we got the call from our agency TODAY with the results. It was not the news we were expecting.

Sweet baby H's mama decided that she was going to take her back and parent. In fact, the agency told us that the mother has already come and taken baby H from the foster home.

Shocking.

Our agency program director was shocked as well. They have been working in Ethiopia since 2006 and have placed almost 500 children for adoption. In that number - this has only happened three times. THREE. Our case is the third one.

So you might find yourself asking.....are we devastated? are we in shock? what happens now? can you still see God's hand in all of this?

Good questions, my friends.

Are we devastated?  No. Disappointed? Of course. However, we had total peace about this court date - and it wasn't a peace like all was going to be rosy and fine. It was a peace that we would get a definitive answer either way. Either this was our child or it wasn't. No more waiting. We were going to know after today. And we found out. This is not our child.  Honestly, we want her to be with her mama if that is what is best for her.

Are we shocked? Yes. Definitely didn't see this coming. Typically this does not happen.

What happens now? We are back to square one. Well, kind of. We will be issued a new referral soon, our age range is still 0-24 months - so our new little gal could fall anywhere in that spectrum.

Can we still see God's hand in all of this? Absolutely!
-In the peace we felt about this court date before it happened about whatever the outcome.
-In the speed at which we were FLYING through this process with Baby H (it had been less than 2 months since referral), we could have easily waited 4 or 5 months until our 1st court date to find out that we lost our referral.  
-In the fact that Jason arrived home at 2:15pm today (he got an EA at work - he is NEVER home at that time) which is the EXACT time the agency called to tell us (which is the first time they've ever called). Amazing.

Please be praying for our family and for our child we've yet to see. Especially be praying for Jake, Tori & Joel who had become quite attached to sweet Baby H.


Romans 8:28 And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Psalms 27:13, 14
"I am still CONFIDENT of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord."

Court date rescheduled

We just found out today that the person needed for our court date to take place on Friday was unable to show up, so it was rescheduled for Monday, June 10th.

Again.....adoption. Sometimes you take two steps forward and one step back.

I guess that analogy could also work for parenting at times :)

So sorry, all you 5 readers of this blog, we wait some more!

God has given me total peace about this whole situation - but please join us in prayer for Monday's court date, which because of the time difference, could take place anywhere between midnight thru 8am early Monday morning.

Hopefully sometime next week we will find out our travel dates to Ethiopia! YIPPEE!!!

No news yet.....

Have I ever mentioned that waiting is hard?

Ha! I haven't gone back and officially tallied how many times I've mentioned it on the blog thus far, but it just in case you weren't aware.....

.......it is! :)

Every advancement you make in the adoption process just leads you to the next wait. 

So here I sit waiting. This time waiting for the results of last Friday's court date. We are hopeful that we will find out the outcome this week. If all goes well, we will then find out when OUR court date is - the one where we travel to Ethiopia to meet Baby H!

I am attaching our adoption video that we used for Give1Save1, so that if anyone ever has a hankerin' to watch it again, it will be easier to find!

Please continue to keep our family and sweet Baby H in your prayers!

Update day and a surprise!

We got an update today on our sweet girl. Which if you've been reading for long, arrived early! No complaints here :) AND she is wearing the sleeper & hair bow that we sent to Ethiopia with another adoptive mama who was there last week!

Be. Still. My. Heart.

Baby H has now turned 6 months old and is weighing in right at 15 lbs.

We got our update this evening as I was sitting on the computer, so I decided to ask the program director if, by chance, we had been assigned a court date (hoping he'd still be in the office). To my surprise he responded immediately and told us that our court date is THIS FRIDAY - MAY 31st!

Yes.

Seriously.

A total shock.

It is more than an hour later and I am still shaking.

Can I reiterate how amazing it is to watch God do His thing?

I had no idea when writing the blog post this morning that this news would be coming this evening. (so if you haven't read this morning's blog post - you should now!)

What comes to mind is Ephesians 3:20 "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work in us. To Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Please join our family in prayer that our May 31st court date goes smoothly (and just so you know, Ethiopia is 8 hours ahead of us!)

To God be the Glory!

Tuesday's Tunes

So this waiting phase.....who knew it would get harder during each step of the adoption process?

Every week I watch this sweet little gal, who is to be my daughter, grow up in pictures. Her hair is growing longer (& getting curlier), I see new facial expressions, I see the beautiful light in her eyes every week. How grateful I am for these updates - but oh, how they make a mama's heart ache. I want nothing more than to go halfway across the world and scoop her up. To let her know that she is treasured, cherished and will be loved beyond what she can comprehend.

What I never knew, before this season of life, is just how draining waiting can be.

EVERY SINGLE DAY I have give the timing of this adoption over to God. Lay it at His feet. Honestly, I daily have to fight the urge to cling to this process in my own strength.

Even though the wait can be frustrating - I can see just how God is using it for good. My faith is being strengthen as I lean on Him, fervently dig in the Word and hold tight to His promises. I always grow when God takes me past point that I can not survive in my own strength. It has happened before, and I am again in that place. Where I am totally at the end of myself. I can only hold to Him. It is an awesome place to be. To watch Him work. To watch His faithfulness unfold - because then HE alone can get the glory due His name because it has nothing to do with me!

*I realize this is the way it should be daily, depending solely on God, whether in a hard situation or not. But bear with me people - I am SO not perfect. I am human and default to trying to do things in my own strength often, but God's not through with me yet!*

So this Tuesday's Tune is about waiting. Timely, right? I love this song because of the reminder to be active in the wait. Praising God for what He is doing, even when I can't see it yet.

While I'm Waiting

John Waller

Psalm 130
"Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD;
O, Lord hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

O Israel, (which I insert - O Cheryl,) put your hope in the Lord,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.

He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins."

Thank you to all of you that are praying for us and our sweet Baby H during this adoption process. Please continue to pray that a court date would come quickly, so we can go meet our girl.