Yes in Christ...........

Can I be brutally honest with you all? I have a love/hate relationship with the "big days" in our adoption process. I LOVE the part of having a date to aim at, an actual moment in time (rather than unidentified wait times) - however, I really DISLIKE the days leading up to it after going through this process for SO long with SO many bumps. I internally wrestle with prayer throughout the days before - my flesh wants to grab ahold of this date and say this *has* to be it and pray my guts out, but here's the thing.....

I KNOW God is big - like really big. He hung the stars. He created the world. He can move the hearts of Kings. He can move the people's hearts that need to sign our paperwork to move forward.
However, if I've learned anything, it's that God's timing is not my own. I know that I don't have an overarching picture of what He is doing, what He is orchestrating. I have peace with that. I don't always like it - but we have experienced the pain and JOY of this first hand. THIS is where the wrestling occurs. It really comes down to the days before, a big date like this, laying it down at his feet and surrendering it to him. Lord, your will be done - because we KNOW that is the best, even if the answer is not what we want - despite momentary pain that may come from the immediate outcome. This struggle and surrender is vital in the adoption process and life.

With that lead up, I will tell you that yesterday's review date didn't go as we had hoped. No signature for us and we received another negative comment.........this time, unbelievably, because those reviewing our paperwork wondered what happened to Baby H (who was our first referral whom we lost in court back in early June 2013, apparently our file was still somehow connected with hers, although her mother chose to parent and she has been out of the system for almost 2 years). Such a random snag. That is the absolute last thing on earth I could have imagined as a reason to be snagged. Ironic really. We are being delayed because we were delayed. It would honestly be funny if it didn't have the potential of costing us more time.

Obviously we were disappointed those first few minutes after the email, but then we start gloving up. Seriously? Getting news like this, when things just keep getting MORE and MORE ridiculous? It becomes blatantly apparent that the struggle we are going through? This battle? Is not of flesh and blood, It is a spiritual one. (Eph. 6:12). Our only response to that can be to throw my hands up in praise.................because we have already seen what God has done through delays before. He has used this process to point Jason and I always to Him. We know the Word. We know who will win. We know who is faithful. We know just who will soon be crushed under our feet (Romans 16:20) and it thrills us to the core to think that THIS kiddo (who is so itty bitty) is scaring the living snot out of the enemy and he is throwing everything at this process to delay - the only thing? The harder it is? The more GLORY God will get when Little Miss comes home, because the battle is the Lord's!

Inexplicably, despite this news, we are filled with HOPE. We have seen this EXACT type of thing happen to us before when trying to get our new regional clearance - here.......followed by this.

So what happens now? Monday our agency will go to the court and request Baby H's file to show that she was not adopted by us and turn it back in for another review. What we don't know is if we will be assigned another review date (weeks away) for them to go through our file again OR if, since it is an in country issue, be able to immediately get the signature we need. We are praying that it is the latter of those two scenarios!!!!

A few weeks ago (while in country) God kept putting in front of us believers (in a developing country) who lived in expectation of what God was going to do, not in expectation of what it would look like, but in expectation! This spoke to me SO loudly. Although this wasn't ever being voiced in words, it came across in everything they did. It hit me that I was not living this way. I was looking at things that happened through the lens of the Word, but NOT living in eager expectation of what He was going to do next.........it is such a slight shift, but a huge one. Make sense, right? The ultimate sacrifice was given - so He obviously loves us. He made a way for us to have right standing before Him as a free gift - so He obviously loves us.

So it was amazing to me, getting back to the U.S. with the word expectation already on the brain - that one of the first quiet times (this below between the asterisks by Ann Voskamp) was right on track with this.........
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Yes in Christ! To the enfleshed Yes who said yes to this moment and yes to last year's illness and yes to the cracks of my childhood and yes to the nail and yes to my name in the book of Life, hear me say YES!

The power of sin and death and fear-sent-from-the-Enemy are forever ended because we can trust in the bridge even if it's caving, in God even when it's black, in manna nourishment even when we don't know what it is. The God whom we thank for fulfilling the promises of the past WILL fulfill His promises again.

In Christ, the answers to the questions of every moment are always Yes!

2 Cor. 1:20-22 "For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God. Now it is God who make both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts a a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come."

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How exciting is that? He who said yes to us adopting, yes to our referral loss, yes for this little one who needed an advocate for a year, yes to delays that would teach us more than any study ever could. YOU ALL - hear me say YES! The "Amen" that will follow will solely be Glory for His name!

God is good. He is FOR us and I for one am waiting in expectation of what He is going to do next!

Including the song below because the chorus of this song has constantly been going through my head for the last month - might as well give you all a peek :) Maybe it will stick with you too!

My Soul Magnifies the Lord

Chris Tomlin

Update and a photo dump!

I am astonished that almost two weeks have passed since I've been home. Safe to say that this is why God gave me peace with the decision to leave, it was definitely the way to go :)
 

Update Picture Week #51 since receiving Little Miss's referral - oh this girl!

Although the trip ended up being for a different purpose than what I had hoped, it has become apparent in the last week that the trip WAS indeed purposeful (for multiple faith growing reasons beyond adoption), but adoption related - it appears that we could have been delayed weeks longer had it not been taken. I will have to add to this post at some point to include all the things God has done through the wait in the last few months. I do not enjoy the delay(s), but I do enjoy seeing what God does through it and living firsthand Romans 8:28 "And we know that in ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love him!" He.Wastes.Nothing.

So what are we waiting for now? For our case to be reviewed, which is happening late this week. If it goes well, and no more documentation is needed, we will be assigned a court date. PLEASE join us in praying to that end. That THIS would be the week we would see forward progress!

And now for your viewing pleasure.......photos from our journey! All of these photos can be connected with a blog post while in country - so for double bonus points (that will only be tallied internally by you) match the photos up to said posts :) The only picture that I REALLY wish I would have gotten was the Adam Sandler tour guide, but alas, no cameras were allowed in the museum, so you'll just have to believe me!

Enjoy!

Megan and I right before we realized we were in the "wrong" car :)

First taxi ride

Our 1st visit - amazed that she has braids!

Typical intersection traffic.......just go!

Someone I know loves to be upside-down, tucking her head in anticipation!

I spy with my little eye......a sheep!

Quick outdoor pick at the beautiful Bethel pottery located outside the city......ahhh!

Coffee (buna) ceremony at Bethel Pottery

Buna - yummo!

Such a lady. Crossing her feet while she takes a bottle :)

Marcato

Incredible, right?

There you have it folks. I am SO HOPEFUL to get back to my little girl soon.......this process has been long. She.Needs.To.Be.Home!

Day 5

Day Five - oops out of order ;)

Today we started out by visiting Embracing Hope, a fabulous ministry that I've talked about on this blog many times before......orphan prevention at it's best. Looking for a place to make a true difference in the lives of people? THIS. IS. AN. AMAZING. PLACE. TO. START. They work with the poorest of the poor and in a country that has no safety net. This is crucial. If you've not yet done so - check out there website!

After a great lunch we went to the transition home for the afternoon visit. Little Miss is so enthralled with her toys that I have brought her that she now doesn't ever nap while I visit ;) Fun to have more awake time with her, but I have to admit I do love some sleepy baby weight in my arms.

We stopped for a quick cup of buna (coffee) on the way home - yummo! We relaxed back at the house for the rest of the evening and we THRILLED when Benji visited with us for a good amount of time - we even taught him how to make balloon animals AND he showed us how people put a baby on their back with a scarf (using a backpack as a baby :) Love!

Things are still up in the air as to how we are going to go about things not moving as we had hoped. So many things to think about in making this decision - from the length of travel visa I have in country (and if I would be able to renew it or not can depend on WHO happens to be behind the desk that day) and the unknown amount of time it could take to get the positive letter that we need to receive a court date, because all that is required has been done, however there are other factors in play now, that weren't even an issue just a few months ago. We are praying for wisdom and clarity of how we should move forward.

Day Eight

I am literally astonished at how the first few days of the trip some of the time spent here is unintentionally comparing and contrasting the life lived here with our life back in the states.....taking the vantage point of life in the states being easier, therefore *seeming* better. The longer we are here, the beauty of this place shows through to where you realize comparisons are not fair. The people. The culture. The hospitality. The true beauty of seeing deep relationships untainted by all the distractions that we (or at least I) are often unavoidably (or at least it feels unavoidably) distracted by in the states. Amazing.

Today we had an easy start to our morning before heading outside of the city to Bethel pottery. It was literally an oasis from the hustle and bustle we've been experiencing day in and day out. Lots of outdoor space. Trees. It.was.beautiful. We picked up lunch on the way, but we didn't end up needing it as we were invited to a coffee ceremony and delicious lunch. It was so relaxing and it gave us a lot of time to relax and practice our Amharic speaking with Ephrim - we've added a few more words to our list ;) Megan is turning into quite a linguist (I am trying though I am far less talented) and we can't wait to introduce some of these words into our regular vocabulary - just because they are fun to say, of course!

We visited with Little Miss this afternoon - and she is as busy as ever. I have no doubts that this little one will be walking on her own either before we get her home or shortly after. She will be the teeniest tiniest walker that I've ever seen. My favorite thing today was when I was standing, she paused her cruising to lift her little arms up to me because she wanted up. Ahhh....be still my mama heart!

Tonight we were enjoying our snacky dinner when the electricity went out around 6pm (a common occurrence here), Megan and I were thankful for electronic devices, as we weren't yet ready to go to bed for the evening - nothing like watching episodes of The Office in the dark!

Today was our last full day in Ethiopia, as I've decided to go home with Megan. I was hopeful to get a court date while in country but that isn't what happened. Even though this part of the adoption process used to be where things were predictable, once again, things have changed. Jason and I have decided that it would be best for me to head home and wait it out there vs. here. This was a hard decision to make, knowing that we *could* be heading back quickly, but we had more peace about me leaving than staying here by myself for an unknown length of time (and then potentially dealing with visa issues). I am so thankful that we had already made that decision a few days ago, because tonight I found out that our review date wasn't set until the 3rd week of February - wowza. We need prayer people for us to get the signature we need on that date so things will not be delayed any longer! This little one needs to come home! I have no doubt that Little Miss WILL be come home, but the delays that we have experienced at every phase in her process? Most are unprecedented. However, I know God will redeem it all and I can't wait to see how. I am not leaving feeling defeated, but encouraged as I have no doubt that this is one special girl who is going to be a world changer.....God is faithful and we will SEE His goodness. I am fixing my eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen, knowing that He will use even this for His glory. Praise be to God!

2 Corinthians 4:7-9  We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed.

It continues.....

Day Seven

I got to sleep in this morning until 8am.....it was so needed after waking up at 4:30am all week, in order to catch the fam at 7:30pm (central time) each day to talk. Since it was a weekend I was able to call before I went to bed last night and catch them during their afternoon. Oh how those few extra zzzz's were appreciated!

We went to IEC (International Evangelical Church) this morning and caught the 11:15am service. So neat to be with believers from so many nationalities all praising the Lord. It was a refreshing time. Afterwards we crammed 15 people into Ephrim's van (which honestly didn't seem that cramped by local standards, just cozy) and went back to Ephrim's guest house for lunch and a good chat. We met another amazing couple from Ohio who are here going to language school before heading onto the mission field, the wife of which retired doctor - who will be living south of the city and provide medical treatment to the surrounding villages. She also offered herself as a resource for us once we take custody of Little Miss.

We then headed to the transition home for our afternoon visit. Today Little Miss was cruising like crazy around the coffee table that is in the visiting room and REALLY wanted to grab hold of a fresh plum that had been picked from a nearby tree.....problem is they are super small, so mama pretended to eat it and we were done with that ;) A couple that I've gotten to know via facebook over the last 2 years came today to pick up their son from the transition home. So neat to have the chance to meet IN person and talk in REAL time!

This evening we find ourselves relaxing once again......enjoying our dinner of snacks that we brought with us. My go to meal replacement? Beef Jerky and dried pineapple. Yummo. Although I'm pretty sure I will be tired of this combination by the time I get home.

Running out of titles......

Day Six

We are assimilating......or trying to, at least. Here is our most recent English list of words that we now know in Amharic.

Okay
A little bit
Yes
Beautiful
Awesome/Amazing
Closed
Hello (woman)
Hello (man)
Goodbye
Thank you
Water
Coffee
Foreigner
Local
No worries
You're Welcome

16 words in 6 days. Incredible, right? At this rate we would have to live in this country for decades before we became fluent :) but it isn't for lack of trying. In fact, me being with a great conversationalist (Megan), mixed with driver (Ephrim) and throw in an incredible care taker of the home we are staying in (Benji)? I have learned a lot about culture, language, history & more. In 6 short days. It has been amazing.

This morning we started out at IEC (International Evangelical Church) as they were having a bazaar, a gathering of local ministries and NGO's (Non-government organizations). Each had a booth to sell the handiwork creations that are helping people step up from desperate situations. This was a great opportunity for us to do some quick souvenir shopping with fixed (and good) prices while supporting lots of great people.....without having to drive from place to place.

We came back to the house after the bazaar just to relax until the afternoon visit with Little Miss. While we were home we got to meet the pastor of a local church and another person who is moving to this country to do ministry full time. It is so neat to sit and talk about what God is doing in the lives of His people, how He is moving. God is opening our eyes to so many different things.

I am enjoying this time with Little Miss, and she loves playing with toys and books......although today's toy of choice was the cap to her bottle :) She had such fun putting it in her mouth (and it looking like a beak), seeing it on top of mama's head, trying to find it when mama put it on her head, throwing it and then crawling after it, etc. And yet again, too much fun to nap, although she was getting fussy for the first time right before the visit ended because she was SO tired. It will be a learning experience when getting this sweet girl home. Learning her cues. What works. What doesn't. Can't wait to start!

Balloons and a win win

Day Four

Today was a full one! I visited with the lawyer today and found out that a court date might not come as quick as we hoped - which means that we are looking at possibly delaying Jason's arrival in country by one week....and are trying to figure out how to proceed. The good news is that the file that was on the lawyers desk, is now off of it and on to where it needs to go. If I had not been here - who knows how long that could have taken (especially because of a staff transition that we found out was happening THE NIGHT BEFORE I LEFT THE COUNTRY - seriously people, I can't make these types of delays up)

After the quick 10 min. meeting we went to go visit a boy, that a good friend of mine is adopting  through a different agency, since we were given permission to go visit him. It was so amazing to be able to see him in person, as I know his parent's are dying too :( He is the absolute sweetest thing. Not only were we able to visit with him, deliver gifts, take lots of pictures and ask him questions from his family - we also got to interact with all the other kiddos at the orphanage. The kiddos were all brought out and Megan and I unleashed a record number of balloon animals, flowers, swords and hats. What fun it was - by the end we were giving the kiddos the long blown up balloons untwisted, so they could create and learn themselves.

We were then going to go to a hotel nearby to eat lunch (and access the wifi), but since we were on the side of town that our driver's guest homes are located on, we asked if we could go there to hang out and eat the "lunch snacks" we brought along. This then allowed him to actually do other things he needed to get done, while we were just burning time until we got to visit Little Miss at the transition home. Win Win! Well, it turned out to be more than just a win win.....Ephrim's (our driver) family is moving their business to a new (and more awesome) guest home, so a family who just moved to Ethiopia is taking over the lease of the old place and also living in the home. When we arrived this family was just sitting down to lunch and asked us to eat with them.  Not only are they adoptive parents (who went through some snafu's themselves, so they can relate) but they also just moved here a month ago. While we were eating lunch and chatting it turned out that the husband (of this family) best friend lives in Liberty AND planted a church there. Hmmmm.....then when we asked about the ministry they were a part of in Ethiopia - I was shocked when they told me Shalom ministry (which works with street kids). This is a ministry that I had already planned on trying to connect with while in Ethiopia, and here I find myself 3/4 of the way through sharing a meal with the very people I had planned on contacting. Wow. Just wow. Anyhow, it was the most refreshing lunch and visit that we possibly could have had while here and into day 4? It was truly a God send!

I only saw Little Miss for one visit today. She is doing wonderfully.....I can not wait until I don't have to return her back to her nannies. Today she was showing off how she could cruise along a table and it incredible how much she opens up more and more each day!

Continue to pray for discernment and wisdom in the next few weeks - we need what only the Lord can provide!