You didn't. We are still waiting on our gal's paperwork, but IT IS TIME.
Our family has been through a rougher than normal process that has made our wait somewhat abnormal. In fact, the entire process has changed since we started. Because of this change everyone now waits longer after referral to meet their child. Ugh. Then since we are experiencing a paperwork delay after our referral, we are waiting even longer (than the new long normal) to meet our gal. THEN because of the same paperwork delay, it is very likely that we won't make it to court before courts close for the rainy season (therefore automatically adding 2 more months to our timeline). So we are waiting even longer to meet our gal. Add all that time up? It is a lot of time.
The positive to the process change is that the time between court and embassy has gotten significantly shorter. The process used to be two trips. One trip for court and then 6 to 12 weeks the child would be issued a visa by embassy and cleared to go back to bring home (because now they can legally immigrate to the US). Since it is now expected to be only 2 to 5 weeks between court and embassy, I plan on staying the duration until I can bring our sweet gal home. So we had planned on four round trip plane tickets and now only need two. Quite the difference.
Hmmmm......so add these things up? Money allocated already for adoption + a crazy wait + dying to meet my gal + another close friend in the same situation + an amazing husband and support system back home to help = ONE THRILLED LEAVING IN 2 WEEKS MAMA!
Although I've been stewing on this for awhile, this literally all unfolded in the last 12ish hours.
This pic below can not capture the excitement and squeals as Rhonda and I sat together booking our tickets! (pardon the blurry - it was taken by a 5 year old :)
I am hoping to find out from our agency what some of immediate needs may be so we can bring over a bunch of donations. If you'd like to help out or see a list of what might be needed, just contact me!
Please be praying as I prepare for this trip.....it's coming up fast!
Ever feel like you keep experiencing the same thing over and over?
We are currently in the midst of another bump, hopefully a quicker moving one, but still a bump.
Remember the what happen's next post from a few weeks ago? The very first step in the process after referral typically takes two to four weeks. We are currently past 6 weeks and still haven't completed step #1. We are not able to submit to USCIS because we are waiting for our gal's paperwork to come as it needs to accompany our I-600 application. This paperwork is specific to our child (things like her birth certificate, life history, contract of adoption and other paperwork that is significant in her story). Although she was what they call "paper-ready" at referral, a few docs ended up needing to be adjusted due to circumstance to reflect something her region was requiring. So here we wait.
Have you noticed a recurring theme throughout our process?
Another no-timeline type wait.
Could happen tomorrow, but probably won't.
Since we've already experienced weeks that turn into months before - we have the experience of knowing that what we face isn't an adoption issue, it is a trust issue.
This print below has been hanging in my bedroom since early last Fall.........
It has been so encouraging to me.
This context of this verse is in the midst of the story of Moses and the Israelites fleeing from Egypt after years of slavery. Long story short, they were finally free however Pharaoh decides a few days(ish) later that he made a mistake and lost his free services and went back with his army to go fetch them back. The Egyptians have the Israelites right where they want them, as they are sandwiched between the Red Sea and the Egyptian army. Sounds like a perfect tactical situation for the attacking army to be in, as there is literally no place for the Isrealites to go.
They all start freaking out and basically saying things to Moses like, what did you do? Bring us out here to kills us? Were there not enough graves in Egypt? Moses answers them "Don't be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again........the LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
A lot of you all know what happens next - Red Sea is parted, Isrealites are able to walk through on dry ground safe to the other side, Egyptians enter the same parted sea and God brings it crashing down on them. Problem solved. Amazing show of God's strength, power, glory!
Can you imagine? Can you imagine how STRONG your faith would be after witnessing a miracle like that? Wow.
To me this runs quite parallel to the referral wait for us. Although no one was trying to actively kill us, it was quite the trial. We knew God must
be up to something......and He was. When our referral finally came, the
way He orchestrated the whole thing was absolutely mind-blowing. Her
name. Her birthdate. How and when we got the referral. All of it. (even the fact that she could, most possibly, be one of the cutest babies on the planet)
It was a Red
Sea parting kind of moment. Watching how God moved. The kind of moment that makes you think -
"whew, that was hard! Glad we don't have to go through a trial like that
again. Should be smooth sailing from here on out."
Oh, wait. Hang on. Back to our story in Exodus..........
All of this Red Sea amazing-ness happened in Exodus 14, and literally right after they sing their long song of praise in chapter 15 (it's in there - you can read it :), by the end of that chapter they are in another trial. What? Another trial already? Come on!
Three days. In the desert. No water.
Three days - can you imagine? Don't worry, they make it through. God provides despite their grumbling.....
Can I just say out loud (or in written format) I am an Isrealite.
I
am just like they are. Shocked to be slogging
through another trial not being able to see the other side. Trying desperately to avoid grumbling. I can't make
things speed up. I just have to walk it.
I am
learning like never before, that trust is a funny thing. That my focus
can't be on what I'm going through or what lies ahead. My focus needs to
be squarely on the rear-view mirror. Looking back at how God has
faithfully, mercifully worked out all things for my good. How He has
provided for my needs as they've arrived, and how He has provided the
grace and strength I needed right when I needed it. It is only when I focus on what God has done when I can give it to him, knowing He's got this part figured out too. He's not left us. We haven't used up all that He can do. We simply have to just wait on Him and trust. So as I hang onto that Exodus 14:14 verse still - knowing that the Lord is still fighting for us, as we have already experienced - I am not perfect. My trust can falter my focus get off. I am so thankful for the Word when that happens. Should I give up? Should I feel guilty? Absolutely not. I cling to this.
Psalms 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Please be praying this bump in the road to be resolved as quickly as possible - how we would love to be progressing and not stuck! Continue to pray for our girl's health and safety as she waits too.
Because it's a Tuesday - wink, wink......a new song fav!
All to Him
New Life Worship
For every mountain that is high He is higher
For every burden that is great He is greater
For every valley that is deep He is deeper still
More than we can know
Our promise is Jesus
Our answer is Jesus
All to Him
All to Him we owe everything
Our savior is Jesus
Our future is Jesus
All to Him
All to Him we owe everything
For every fear that closes in He is closer
For every doubt that comes on strong He is stronger
For every battle that we face He has conquered all
More than we can know
We know the great God
We serve the great God
We owe the great God
Everything all to Him
Although we won't be able to show the full extent of our gal's cuteness until after we pass court, this week's update pics were too amazing as we got to see her precious little toes for the first time!
(which was what Gram C was waiting for) Y'all need just a little sneak peek.........
Please keep praying for our sweet gal - for her health and protection. Also for the timing of the rest of our adoption process - we would SO love to be able to travel late Summer, however because of yet another delay (that's adoption for you :) I am preparing myself that we will hit the court closure, which would mean not traveling until the Fall. Trusting that God's got this thing worked out!
Jason and I were able to get away a few weeks ago to take a LONG overdue trip. With adoption in the works since 2012........vacation days have been hoarded and our budget tight. Those two things combined equaled over TWO YEARS since we had gone anywhere by ourselves.
Without children. It.Was.Time.
We took a three day weekend and traveled to the Pacific Northwest. Since adoption never truly leaves our (my) brain, that is where our agency is located AND we've always wanted to visit that part of the country anyway - it was the perfect destination. We were even able to meet our program director, that we've been working with for quite a while, face to face ;) It was awesome!
Here are some highlights:
Our connecting flight through Salt Lake City Utah - kinda cool seeing the vastness of the great Salt Lake from the air
Our 1st time to an Ikea (fun times)
Food at a furniture store - definitely a different experience!
Multnomah Falls
Bridge in front of falls damaged by falling rock = no connecting to trails :(
Canon Beach in front of the "haystack"
Haystack up your nose!
Biggest bowls of soup ever made!
Crazy sea lions - so funny to watch
Awwwww......
Met up for some Ethiopian food with another adopting couple that we've gotten to know over the last year
In front of our awesome B&B
Powell Books in the background -the best!
It was SO amazing to have a little getaway from everyday life! The next time we travel should be when we go to meet our little girl in Ethiopia. We will have to get a another picture of Jason with a cup of coffee in his hands.......
Ethiopia being the birthplace of coffee and all - he is expecting BIG things.
Easter is rolling around again. Seriously. It is in three weeks. How odd it feels that time goes by so fast that I am lagging behind - mentally I feel like I am hovering around in mid-February, not at the start of April.
So over the course of this past year I'm sure it has become pretty apparent to all that God has REALLY been messing with me......in the area of comfort, possessions and compassion. When we took the step out in faith at the beginning of the adoption process - what really began to happen is that God began to open up our eyes to see the need in the world. True need.
The shift I feel is permeating many areas of my life, and it is rearing it's head once again this Easter. Just take a step back and look at Easter. It is so easy to see - it has been so consumerized. We've turned an event where we are supposed to be remembering Jesus's extreme sacrifice for our sins (death on the cross) and the resurrection (victory over death) and turned it into something else entirely. Dressing up. Easter Baskets. Egg hunts. Chicks. Eggs. Ducks. Ham dinner. The list goes on and on.
I read a book "7 - an experimental mutiny against excess" by Jen Hatmaker last year, and a portion touched on this very thing. This book makes you both laugh out loud and think. It's a good read, if you're looking for a recommendation :) I digress.
Here is an excerpt from the book (the author speaking) "Between ages zero and thirty-two, I celebrated Easter the fun way: with bunnies, baskets, and expensive clothes. What better way to say "Jesus reigns" than dressing my preschooler in a $45 dress to show her off in the church lobby? (You're welcome, Jesus. Be blessed)"
See my hand up? That is how I've always celebrated. Well, this year we a making a small tweak. This year the Calder family is going to participate in something called Forget the Frock.
What the heck right? click here to read more about it.
The premise is to take the money that would have been spent on holiday wear......and make a difference with it. Being a Dave Ramsey FPU alum and past facilitator, I can tell you that I
have learned that money is finite and we choose where to put it. When you choose to buy one thing, you are in essence choosing not to do something else. So this year, instead of buying a new outfit/shirt/dress/whatever and placing our money in the hands of our local Target (most likely :), we are getting a t-shirt instead through Forget the frock - this $20 t-shirt purchase = $20 that goes directly to the organization "feeding the orphans" in Ghana, Africa - and get this, feeds orphans. Money that makes a difference. Meets a need. Cool.
Honestly? Publicly sharing that we are going to participate this year is extremely awkward at best. Jason and I went back and forth with this. Not the participation in it, but the sharing of it.
Here is why:
Matthew 6:1-4 (here is the sum up) "when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing"
When Jason and I give, it is just between us and God - but this time we feel compelled to share. Why are we deciding to share now? Why tell you all? Because it is important. There is need.
Oftentimes people want to help, but just don't know how. What is a good organization? What is a good cause? AND oftentimes people that want to help might not feel they have the money........well this is an awesome chance that YOU could take to re-purpose money that you were already going to spend, for an amazing purpose. I am sharing this to tell you that HERE is an opportunity to give. This is an opportunity to "sacrifice" something this Easter. It isn't much, but it is sacrifice.
Sacrificing how others might perceive you (wearing a t-shirt on Easter, gasp!). Sacrificing a family photo tradition. Maybe sacrificing how other money might be spent on this holiday. Who knows what else. In that sacrifice, you could give. On Easter? Wow.
The need is so large. You can't do everything. But everyone can do something.
Love this song........
Do Something
by Matthew West
Please see my heart in this post - this is not about me and what my
family is doing......this post is about highlighting an opportunity for
you to give.
Referral wait is over. Whew. So now the question always turns to what happens next? Well my friends, we still have quite the process ahead of us. Basically once a referral comes, it is like stepping into the next phase of the wait.......but at least now there is a cute face to look at and pray for!
Recently Ethiopian adoptions have undergone some changes and the process is different post-referral than what it was last Spring with our first referral - so what is coming next is new for us (and lots of other people)
It used to go like this:
Submitted to court (a child "paper ready", within 3 to 4 weeks of referral acceptance)
Birthparent or finder court date (3 or 4 weeks later)
Adoptive parent court date (2 to 4 weeks later) *after this court date child is considered adopted.
Submitted to Embassy (2 to 3 weeks later)
Birthparent or finder Embassy date (2 to 4 weeks later)
Clear Embassy & come home (1 to 2 weeks later)
Total time after referral to court: 2 to 3 months
Total time after referral to home: 4 to 5 months
The process now:
Submit I-600 to USCIS for PAIR process (typically 2 to 4 weeks to submit after accepting referral)
PAIR process/ Birth Parent or Finder Embassy interviews (8-12 weeks)
Submitted to Court (1 to 2 weeks)
Birthparent or finder Court date (2 to 4 weeks)
Adoptive Parent court date (2 to 4 weeks) *after this court date child is considered adopted.
Clear Embassy & Come home (3 to 6 weeks)
Total time after referral to court: 4 to 5 months
Total time after referral to home: 5 to 7 months
Time frames are obviously VERY approximate - one little bump can cost you weeks, sometimes months (just look at our very long referral loss bump for reference) The main difference between what the process looks like now vs. before is that the United States is basically clearing these children BEFORE they go to court, ensuring that once they are legally adopted in Ethiopia by the adoptive parents, that they will indeed be issued visas to come into the United States. A very good thing. It is also a great safeguard to double check the kiddos stories to make sure that everything is being done ethically and that these are true children who are in need.
If you are like me, you are adding up the approximate times in the above process and trying to figure out just when we might be bringing our little gal home. Unfortunately, it's not quite as simple as that, other factors are at play. Ethiopian courts close for 2 months out of the year - from about mid-August to mid-October. As it stands now with our adoption......if everything were to move on the fastest timeline possible with only the smallest of bumps in the road, we might make it to Ethiopia before court closure in August. As much as I want to be there sooner rather than later - knowing how adoption works, I am preparing myself for the Fall. It is a mind-set thing for me. I don't want to spend these next 4 or 5 months driving myself crazy trying to speed up something that I have no control over.
So what do we do in the meantime? Wait. Pray. Trust. I know that God has got this. He's got this timing thing worked out all I need to do is just wait on Him.
The good news? This phase in the wait, although potentially long, comes with cuteness. We are so fortunate that our agency provides weekly updates (complete with pictures) of our child, which gives us something to look forward each week. They are so amazing. Last week we got our first genuine smiley picture of our gal. Wowza. She is a precious little girl :)
Please keep her in your prayers - that she would stay healthy, she would truly feel loved where she is now and that God would prepare her heart for our family. Pray for the paperwork side of things, that it would go as smooth as possible for us.
....................We interrupt this wait to announce that WE. HAVE. A. REFERRAL......................
Nine months after losing our first referral (which, the irony of the 9mo. wait is not lost on me) - we finally got another referral!!!!!
Unfortunately, I can't give many details - except that she is a girl, sweet as can be and appears to be all eyes :) The timing of it was insane. Some of the details are just amazing. Even down to her name. Wow.
I'd love to show y'all a picture, but can only do so in person until we
pass court and she is "officially" ours. If we see you around - just ask
- we'd love nothing more than to show you!
We have been sitting on this news for a few weeks (only telling family & in-town friends), so the tens of you in my readership will have to forgive me for not bursting forth and shouting the news from the rooftops as soon as it happened. I never could have dreamed how complex the emotions behind this could be, especially after waiting all this time. We are absolutely thrilled, but after experiencing a previous loss, we also instantly put up our guard. In all reality we are no further than we were the first go around (since we lost our 1st referral AT court), and there is still a long road ahead of us with no guarantees until she is actually in our arms.
So when will she be in our arms? Well, believe it or not, the adoption process (post referral) has changed since we had our 1st referral last Spring. Soon I'll post about what steps come next and what we can hopefully expect in the coming months.
Please be praying for this us in this next phase of the wait. That we would continue to trust in God's timing and that God would protect this sweet little one as she waits.
