A year.
Unbelievable.
It took time to process through, obviously it wasn't all roses and sunshine the months that followed. There was real loss to work through, even while trusting that God is faithful. There were periods of sadness. There are STILL periods of sadness. Let me be upfront - I am SO grateful at that time I did not know that we would still be in the thick of the adoption process, a whole year later. Oh how disheartening that would have been. I am SO grateful at that time I did not know about all the painful days that would follow, learning lessons in trust as we waited well past the 6 weeks we thought it would take to get a new referral.
I am also grateful for other things - That this process has refined me in ways I didn't know I needed - and frankly, I wouldn't have walked into on purpose. I'm grateful that this past year full of bumps (even still in the midst of one now) I experienced God's mercy and grace like I never had before. I'm grateful that I have been able to watch God faithfully work out intricate timing and details that I couldn't have even imagined.
But the thing that I'm most grateful for?
That because of that huge bump..........this whole thing has become more than just about adoption.
Don't misunderstand me - the part we play in adoption is beautiful and badly needed. I am absolutely OVER THE MOON about the thought of bringing our Little Miss home, but if our first referral had gone through picture perfect, things would be different. Our hearts would have been right, wanting to give a child in need of a family, a family.....but that most likely would have been the end of the story.
Adoption? Check.
Thank goodness God had other plans. That God didn't leave us as we started. He took the something that was not so fabulous last year, of losing our first referral, and used it - working ALL things for our good. Over the course of this past year as we waited. prayed, sought, yearned and dug into God's word our hearts began to change. It wasn't always pretty. It definitely wasn't without tears shed (mostly by me :), but I know that God is preparing us for something and will use our family in ways that we weren't ready for before.
I also know this Little Miss is going to be worth every single second of this wait!
Since it is almost Tuesday, and I love a good alliteration (Tuesday's Tunes....because if you are on my RSS feed you are getting this on a Tuesday), here you go - a favorite!
In Christ Alone
Mercy Me
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sins curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a lifes first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand
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